Where We Began

Hayden North

The look he gave me made time stop and rewind. I rewind to the morning. This morning I caused an outburst because my family wants me to take counseling. My mother can't hide what she truly feels. I am not Grandpa. I will never be him. He made life harder for himself. He wanted to be the best because everyone else was. That's not the person I am. There isn't anything wrong with me. I am a perfectly normal teenager.

They can't handle that I don't abide by their rules. It's a sad world for what they don't see about me. I'm trying not to argue and get angry, but it's like something inside me that goes off. Then I regret everything including, myself. I regret the person that I am. I didn't bother to eat anything because of the way I was feeling. I couldn't even control myself. I walked to school instead of asking Dad for a ride. He watched me pace my way down several blocks to school.

I never looked back at him or my mother. It hurt that they had thought of forcing me into talking with a stranger so quickly instead of doing it themselves. None of it makes sense to me. I felt the blazing emotions subside after getting through the school door and far from home. I walked up to my locker and got my things for class. The remaining people in the hallway are Thomas and me. Thomas lost to Liam, who beat him to a literal plum. He had swelling and bruises to his eyes and cheeks. He was hurting her.

Thomas was touching his girlfriend and forcing the girl to go with him into the storage closet. His eyes were enraged because she said no to him. I can't stand there and not do anything. I decided to help her and not go to class to pretend I saw nothing. When he was about to grab her, I hit him across the head with my backpack. There are about six textbooks in this bag that weigh a ton. It knocked him to his right side for a couple of seconds.

The girl had a chance to move out of the way as Thomas had grabbed my hair. My scalp had felt the scorching sensation of the tugs and the grip he has on my hair. He pulled me in the direction he wanted until my back hit the lockers. I winced and looked into his hostile face.

There he was, spitting and growling like a wolf without a leash. I started to yell and scream to get anyone to come out and help. I wasn't defenseless. I wanted people to see what he was doing to me. If I needed to, I could kick him where the sun doesn't shine and run.

That's everything that got me so upset at Liam. He never asked if I was okay or if my hair wasn't still feeling like it's on fire. I let him lead me with his gentle hands that ignored my sharp nails clawing at them. Passion and desire are always around when he is. Liam wanted to know more. I don't know shit about him. That's not a winning situation. The sudden feeling came back. All at once, the small things pushed me to the edge. I never meant to argue with him.

"Yes! For crying out loud, all you do is get in my way. I bet you didn't care about my sob story last night," I belted. Liam's face looked hurt. I can tell his body is lightly shaking. I knew it's all an act. What if he genuinely was hurt by what I said? His mouth opened to try and tell me something. I put my other hand up in front of his face.

"Wait, I get it. When you saved me, it was out of pity. It's better for the both of us if you walk away!" I boomed. My hand doesn't belong in his. Liam didn't let go of my hand. He looks at me, startled. I never knew my voice could project that loudly.

The whole school probably could hear me. The hallways brought chills to being this close to Liam. Nothing moved him or made him walk away. He took every criticism I had to dish out at him for no particular reason. I don't understand. I refuse to give in to it. I'm hoping he gets the message. I never expect him to press his hand against my cheek. His much larger hand stroked the side of my face convincingly.

"You're not mad at me, Hayden. Take a deep breath. Then breathe out." I breathed in slowly. My lips twisted. My eyebrows furrowed at the random act of affection. I let the breath of air release between my lips. The outrage was disappearing. Everything came back in my control. The troubling feelings were gone. I stood frozen like a statue.