Summertime Sadness

Chapter 2

I open my eyes the next morning to an afternoon sun. The clock on my bedside table says that it’s two o’clock. I roll over on my back and rub my eyes. This small movement creates a sharp pain in the back of my head. I sit up and the stinging pain in my head becomes a steady throb. Next to the clock on my table sits my phone. I reach over to grab it and check my messages. When I open my phone to the lock screen it shows that I have two unread messages; one from my mother and one from and unknown number. Both were asking how I was feeling. I keep my phone in my hand and get out of bed. I notice that I haven’t changed my clothes since yesterday. I must have fallen asleep as soon as I got home last night. What happened last night?

I walk out of my bedroom and into the kitchen to make myself a coffee. When the coffee is ready I pour it into a mug, add milk and a sugar and take long sips, hoping to get rid of my headache. While I drink it, I decide to answer my messages. I open my phone again and answer my mother’s text first. The next one is an unknown number that is asking how I was feeling. I didn’t know who it was so I texted back asking for their name. A television remote sits on the kitchen table and I grab it and point it at the small TV to turn it on; it flicks on to the news. It talks about a parade that is going on in Brooklyn. As they are showing footage I get a text back from the unknown number.

‘It’s Marina. From last night?’ The message says.

Marina. It takes me a while to remember…oh yes it was the woman who had helped me last night. I reply to her message with ‘oh, Marina. I’m fine how are you?’

I try as hard as I can to remember last night. I remember that I got shit faced and I remember crying into Marina’s shoulder but nothing else. Wasn’t I just a mess, getting drunk almost every night since the breakup? I really needed to get it off my mind. I look around my empty apartment. I remember when it wasn’t so empty, when Jimmy wandered the place in his bath robe. I needed to get out.

My phone beeps again and shows that I received another text message. ‘Glad to hear you’re better. I’m fine as well.’

I take a last sip of coffee and put my mug in the sink. I take my phone from the kitchen table and text Marina back as I walk to my room. ‘Good. Do you have any plans for today?’

When in my room, I strip of my pants and shirt and put on a brand new outfit. I really need to get out of the apartment if I wanted to keep my mind off of Jimmy. I stand in front of the mirror in my room and fix my auburn hair and make-up so it looks as if I’ve been awake longer than only half an hour. I’m about to re-apply my lip-gloss when I get a call. It’s Marina.

I answer, “Hello?”

"Hey. I don’t have any plans,” she says. I had forgotten about her accent. “Do you want to do something?”

I'm immediately relieved when she said she was free. I would have gone out anyway but being with someone is always better. “Yes,” I say. “Do you want to grab something to eat?”

“Sure,” she says and we make plans to meet up at a café in SoHo.

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I sit in a small café in SoHo, sipping green tea and watching people wander around outside. A familiar face walks past and looks inside. She sees me and waves, wearing her wide, open-mouthed smile. I smile and wave back and she walks into the café and sits down in front of me.

“Hey,” she says. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m great,” I say. “I just-I had to get out of my apartment, you know?”

She nods and we begin speaking about ourselves. I learned a lot about Marina, how she was Welsh and Greek but she was living in London. For now, she’s living with her cousin in New York so she could promote herself in America. She’s a singer but her work was mainly based in the United Kingdom. She looked passionate as she spoke about herself and her career. I couldn’t say the same about me because I had a normal, boring life.

It was really nice, speaking to someone different, as I’ve been confined to speaking to the same people for months when I was with Jimmy. He only let me speak to people who he knew, to make sure nothing was going on between me and someone else. Maybe the split was a good thing. I could be more open to people and make new friends; something I wasn’t able to do before. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad change after all? Especially since Marina seemed interesting and nice enough.

But it had, after all, only been five days after the split and I still became sad at the thought of Jimmy. I must’ve looked a bit down so Marina asks, “Are you thinking about…him?”

“Yes,” I admit.

She reaches across the table and puts a hand on my arm. I look up at her. “I know, honey, but don’t worry, there are plenty more where he came from.”

“I guess,” I say and smile a little.

Marina looks outside for a moment and then looks back at me. “Let’s get out of here,” she says.