Summertime Sadness

Chapter 4

                “Wow,” Marina says.

                I nod. I can barely speak with her. I keep thinking that if I were to look at her and speak, she would be able to tell that I was melting on the inside. I’ve really been keeping to myself lately, as if I was miserable when I was with her but I wasn’t. It was the complete opposite, actually. I was my happiest around Marina.

                It’s the last day of May and we stand on the Brooklyn Bridge, watching the sun set over the East River. Marina’s cousin, Emma, stands a few feet away, with her friend, Robert. We were all planning to go Coney Island that night but I suggested that we should stop and watch the sunset first. The sunset was a beautiful view. It was something that you really should see if you were visiting New York. Something about how the light from the sun reflected on the water and all the different colours in the sky made everything seem so perfect.

I look at her. Marina is looking out into the river; her face is slightly lit up by the setting sun. The warm wind that welcomes June blows through her dark hair and I feel myself swoon. The way she’s leaned slightly over the bridge and the way that the wind blows her hair out of her face, she resembles a goddess for a moment. I catch myself staring, her beauty has kept my attention and I’m unable to look away. Marina looks over at me.

“What?” She asks.

I hesitate for a moment, surprised that she’d caught me. I swat my hand over her head, as if to shoo away a bug. “There was a bee in your hair,” I say and quickly turn back to face the water.

I feel my face turn hot and feel a blush creeping up my neck. Oh god, what was happening to me? I was starting to weird myself out. Why have I been acting so strange around Marina? I always wanted to be around her but when I was, I acted strangely. I acted like I’d rather be anywhere else. I gaze below me, into the water of the East River. I start to wonder if I just had a very strong lust for Marina or if I'm in love. Wait, I couldn’t be in love with another woman…could I? I mean being attracted was one thing but, could I be in love?

Marina’s soft hand touches my arm and I look at her faster than I should have. “Are you alright?” She asks.

Her hand is still on my arm when I nod. “Just thinking,” I say.

She smiles at me. Her smile is so warming and beautiful that it makes a smile to spread across my face. Her hand falls from my arm and she turns back to the sunset. A few weeks ago, when I looked at Marina, I just thought that she was pretty. Now when I look at her, a warm, ticklish feeling grows inside of me. A feeling that threatens to swallow me whole, making me feel completely oblivious to everyone and everything around me. It was something that I hadn’t really felt with anyone else.

Marina holds onto the bar of the bridge. I tap her hand to get her attention and I feel her soft skin. She looks at me and I feel it again. That warm tingly feeling. It was nearly impossible to speak to Marina’s face so I try speaking to her forehead instead.

"We should go,” I say. “It’s like a forty minute drive.”

She nods and calls out to Emma and Robert who both run back into Robert’s van. It wasn’t exactly legal to park on a bridge but seeing the sunset was just something that had to be done. I sit in the back seat with Marina and we drive off to Coney Island.

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I loved Coney Island. I felt years younger when I was there. All the lights, the games and the rides made me feel like a kid again. Of course, it was a million times better at night. There were a lot less people there at night and the lights were a lot more visible. Something about the place was so special to me. I think part of the reason it was so special was because I’d created so many memories here. And I'm about to create some more.