**This chapter might rile up a few readers, depending which characters you support. But, it's the direction I wanted to take. Feel free to tell characters off, bitch, or yell or whatever. Dig in. You can disagree with what I wrote. You can kindly disagree with other comments. Anything is fine... you just can't be mean to other readers. We cool? Enjoy... uh, hopefully...
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Tommy and Nikki laid in bed next to one another, naked, just after making love. It was something that the drummer assumed was a conciliatory conclusion to a period of bitter strife and near death moments. Sure, he figured that they need to clear the air and talk things out; maybe over breakfast or dinner. But apparently, that wasn’t what Nikki had in mind, having just asked Tommy whether he made love to Jon. The quiet afterglow of sex was on the verge of rekindling into a roaring dumpster fire.
“Nikki, I...” Tommy paused. “No, I didn’t. I only make love to you….. um… but I did have sex with... Jon.” The drummer tensed up, waiting for an abrasive response.
“Did you like what you did with him?”
Tommy unnestled himself from Nikki, propping himself up on his elbow again. He was unsure what Nikki was really up to, and if this conversation was going to lead towards reconciliation or a fight. The best he could do that that point was to be honest. “I can’t easily answer that. I always like sex…. Nikki, just tell me what you want to say to me about what I did. The good, the bad, and ugly.”
“Tom, it’s not so much the sex with someone else that upsets me. I mean, we’ve been fucking for five years, together for over four. Maybe something was bound to happen. You get in a rut, or you get curious. I don’t know…. up until now, we’ve only ever been with each other… man to man. In some ways, curiosity is natural, and probably invades the mind space of even the greatest of all the couples out there. So, it wasn’t the sex. It was how you went about it; smearing it in my face, making me eat shit, knowing that I was hurting. Not to mention, that you didn’t even give me a chance to talk about what I did… and about the baby. What you did to me, damn near shattered me. I needed your love and support and instead you rejected me, completely.”
Tommy sighed, “I know, and I don’t know why I behaved the way that I did. I mean, I guess I do to a certain point, but not to the extent that I can explain all of my behavior. Something fucked snapped in me, and yes, I wanted you to hurt,” Tommy revealed, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. “You hurt me too.”
“Use the sheet,” Nikki admonished, pushing a wad towards him. “I’m going to have to wash these anyway. We got a mess between them.”
“I’m sorry,” Tommy said, using the sheet to wipe his hand, and for a second swipe of his nose. “When I found out that you cheated on me, I was devastated. I guess that feeling of being burned mixed with… I hate to admit it…. some jealousy…. it just fucked me deep inside. Like, some sort of resident evil from within me came out from hiding. I just never thought that you would want someone else.”
“What would you be jealous about? Jealous of me? Or the guy?” Nikki asks.
“Sometimes I just feel that you’re always in the spotlight and I’m in your shadow. People listen to you and respect you, but they see me as a big joke. And unfortunately the news about the baby was like the breaking point. The baby is yours. Everything is always yours.”
“I never once thought of the baby being solely mine; just ours! That is until you made it clear that you don’t want anything to do with him. It was then that he became only mine,” Nikki snapped.
“I’m not saying that all of my feelings were right or justified. I’m just telling you the way I felt. I don’t know what else to say, Nikki. I was wrong about a lot, and I’m sorry…. Like I said last night, I’m sorry that we never got to celebrate as a couple. I’m sorry that I never told you that I wanted him too. I did…. I just couldn’t admit to myself, much less you. I was fucking scared out of my mind. I do want him. I just fucked so much up between us, that I fear it’s too late. I love you, and I want a chance to love the baby.”
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Face Down In The Dirt
FanfictionEverything was simply perfect in the realm of Terrorland until a phone call changed everything. Nikki's world was crumbling. Yet, spiteful Tommy couldn't seem fit to give a damn.... until his world started to crumble too.
