Drown For Me//Colson Baker

one

The show was great, and the audience was terrific. It was another fantastic show under his belt. But of course, when he walked backstage to celebrate, he walked past me and into his group of friends. I was alone, standing by the table with food and drinks and waiting for him to notice me. But of course, like every show, he did not.

"Aren't you supposed to be celebrating with Pete?" someone said, making me look up at them. I shrugged once I saw who it was: Colson.

"He's preoccupied at the moment," I reply, motioning to him. He passes a blunt to the guy on his right, coughing and oblivious to me or how I feel.

"You don't smoke?" He asked me, his eyebrows knitting together, and I shook my head.

"No, I do sometimes, but he wants to be around his friends. He doesn't worry about me when his friends are around." I explain.

"That's kinda fucked up- you're his girl. He should be with you." Colson acted as if he didn't like the thought of me being alone, which caused a warm feeling to engulf me. His small act of acting as if he cared for me made me feel less alone in that moment. But, feeling alone was the usual for me, especially since Pete and I got together in high school. He always seemed to attract attention anywhere he went, and this had always been the case. His nonchalant demeanor would tell you he had no need for this attention or want, but that would be a false assumption. In fact, Pete searched for it. 

When we first met, I was 16, and he had just turned 18. He was the older boy I instantly fell for. He seemed so effortlessly cool, and I couldn't help but fawn over him, along with every other girl who came in contact with him. The beginning of our relationship was fast, wanted mutually, of course, and so insanely fun. But now, it seemed so slow and as if we were just simple friends who slept together occasionally. It sickened me when I first noticed how distant we became, but now I prefer it. However, sometimes I wish we could go back to how we used to be. It became easy for me to accept the lack of connection in our relationship after a while. 

"It's whatever," I said, looking up at him and away from my boyfriend, trying to push conflicted feelings away and shift the conversation onto something else, "How's Casie doing?"

He smiled at the mention of his daughter and replied, "She's good. I had to pick her up from school today for beating some kid's ass." He laughed a little at the thought, and I did, too. It didn't surprise me to hear that, knowing Colson had a little temper, it seems reasonable for his daughter to have the same attitude. 

"She's a lot like her dad," I joked, nudging Colson with my elbow. He shook his head and grinned real big.

"Hopefully not," he replied, still grinning; I rolled my eyes at him and his self-deprecating composure.

"What's so bad about it?"

"I was a bad kid. I don't want her to turn out like I did," explained Colson as he turned around and poured himself a drink.

"You turned out alright," I replied, seeing him quickly glance at me with a small smile before shifting his gaze elsewhere. 

He smiled back, and I couldn't help but think how attractive he was. Looking at him, you'd be lying if you said he wasn't blessed with conventionally attractive features. His track record of rarely getting rejected by women proves this as well. But I started to pick up on his looks recently, weirdly. I didn't realize how good-looking he was, and then all of a sudden, he started giving me butterflies, and I was surprised because I didn't know I could feel those anymore. 

I quickly turned away, thinking that we were staring too much. But he was still looking at me when I turned away. I grew nervous as I tried to ignore it, hopefully he couldn't tell that I had a bit of a crush on him. But by the heat I felt on my cheeks, I knew I was clearly blushing, a tell-tale sign of that kind of thing.