If Only I Knew

CHAPTER V

"You look like you saw a ghost." said Noah as I stared dumbfounded at the black car in front of me through the windshield of the car. I'm sure I didn't see a ghost rather I just heard one! A ghost that haunted me for the past 7 years of my life- A ghost I'd been succesfully running from.

I half turned and looked at Noah, the shock still apparent on my face. "No. I-I was thinking. You see that I-I think. I think I left my purse at the mall."

"You did what?" The locomotive came to an immediate halt and my seatbelt prevented me from smashing out the car due to the inertia. "What's this then?" Noah said, his eyes directed towards the nude gucci bag on my lap.

"I meant my mini pouch- you know the one in which I keep all my IDs, driving license and other important stuff. I travel too often nowadays because of the book release so we need to find it fast. Let's hurry back to the mall." I clarified.

"But Mommy I'm hungry." Samuel was surely disapproving the idea.

"Sam, I'm sure a few more minutes won't hurt too much." Neither of them questioned me further. We took the U-turn at the next round-about and drove silently until we reached.

When Noah parked the car in the parking, I undid the seatbelt and hurried out of the car. "Noah, you wait here with Sam. There's a lot of rush in the mall so I'll be back within a few minutes. Till that time you can munch on these." I handed him a packet of baked chips that I always carried with me due to my frequent travelling and irregular eating schedule.

Noah didn't say anything and even if he did, I didn't bother to listen to him. I walked briskly to the fragnance section of the mall, where I met Will not more than half an hour ago. Of course he must still be loitering around in the fragnance division. Will was a sucker for perfumes. I always gifted him a favourite fragnance of mine on his birthdays because I was the one who had to smell it on him. Silly- I know but practical!

I felt exremely guilty lying to Noah and little Samuel but I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't talk to Will today. As I was approaching towards him, I felt self-conscious and underconfident.

What do I tell him? Why am I back? Why am I acting like I'm 17 years old?

A thousand questions like these flashed in my mind as I walked.

'He always made you feel like a child when you were with him- free and happy. That's why.'  My inner voice didn't waste much time in providing me with the information.

Only disappointment came my way when I couldn't find Will anywhere. I took out my phone from my bag and looked for the last received calls in my call log. Frantically, I called the unknown number that actually belonged to Will.

The number you are dialling is currenly busy. Please try again later.

I called him numerous times before I gave up the hope of ever seeing him again. Dejected, I walked out of the mall towards the parking area. I took out my pink purse from my bag in order to cover up for my lie. I saw Noah and Sam waiting patiently for me in the car. Their sad faces made my stomach churn in disgust and shame.

"Ahhh....Oh God! This is such a huge place. I swear there are new doors and corridors appearing every now and then."

"Did you find what you were looking for?" I raised my little heart pouch in front of him like a prized possession and gave him one of my swooning smiles.

"Okay. So now we can finally go somewhere and have a delicious meal."

"Yaayyyy!" Sam chirped in excitement as Noah drived us out of the parking.