If Only I Knew

CHAPTER VII

Flashback:

"Brooke, I have a strong feeling that this guys is 'THE ONE' for me." I chose not to respond.

I knew Sarah Davis ever since I shifted to Los Angeles. She was one of the few first persons that I met here and befriended immediately. Unlike me, she aspired to work in publishing.

Her domineering parents tried to dissuade her but she remained resolute. The decision to shift to Los Angeles was probably one of the best decisions she'd ever made, according to her and brought a paradigm shift in her life.

Currently, she was more engaged in finding 'THE ONE' than accomplishing her aim. Poor girl, she believed in true love and other non-existent abstracts.

My non-response earned me a response from her. "He's coming to the store every other day. It couldn't be anybody else but me! Of course Harry should've thought twice before dumping my ass." Her crude words were enough to leave us both looking at each other with a known humor.

"You couldn't be more right than that!"

Not a  second later Sara jumped up in excitement "Oh look! He's back. Just wait and watch now."

He was back at the store once again. And as much as I'd like to deny it, his crystal blue eyes bore into mine and I got lost in them. There was nothing special about them, just an ordinary pair of blue eyes yet now they haunted me even in my dreams.

He walked over to Sarah's counter and emptied his basket on the top. I was quite surprised to see that he had bought just one packet of almonds. There really is something fishy going on here. I was afraid to admit but I felt jealous of Sarah now.

"Brooke! Could you please come over here for a minute?" Tom, the new help at the store asked for me and I gladly obliged.

When I returned back to my counter after a minute or so, I was disappointed to find him gone. My eyes searched for him in the incomprehendable mob and failed miserably.

"Did he leave already"? Sarah tried to supress a mischievious grin on her face as she answered "Of course! He just bought a packet of almonds."

Present:

"Honey what took you so long?" Noah asked first thing when I reached home. "Nothing babe, you know we had so much to catch up on. We met after 7 years!"

"Yeah, I'm sure. So, what is he upto nowadays? I mean I do know his new song was dope but what about his personal life? He got a girl for himself yet?" I walked towards the sofa and laid down on it as I began to lie to him perfectly.

"Nah! He didn't. I'm sure no girl would bother to bear him!"

"You did." Noah said as a matter of fact.

"Noah, you don't need to remind me of my past with him everytime. I know what I had with but that's what it was- My Past! Why don't you understand?" I paused before speaking again. "I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

"It's okay. I'm waiting for you in the room. Take your time."

He walked back inside and I felt numb. What did I do to deserve a wonderful person like Noah? I didn't deserve him! I made my way towards Sam's room and found him lying on the bed. He was probably fast asleep by now.

I didn't want to wake him up but when I saw his feet shuffling underneath the printed floral sheet, I walked to see his eyes staring at the white ceiling.

His eyes drifted to mine. "Mom, you're back. How was your meeting with your friend? I really liked him. He looks very smart. Not more than Daddy though!"

"Yeah! Daddy is the best."

"Mom, I'm super sleepy. Maybe we could talk tomorrow?"

"Sure darling." I kissed his forehead and waited for him to sleep peacefully. When I was fully sure that he was sleeping, I sneaked into his bathroom and closed the door tightly.

And then I cried.

That was all I could do. I could only feel guilt and pain. It was too much for me.

I will not lie, I had imagined meeting Will more times than I must admit. But none of those went the way it did today. Sure, I imagined those words coming out of his mouth but to actually be able to hear from his mouth that he still loves me hurts more than it should.

It hurts because those words were said too late. It hurts because I don't know what to do now. It hurts because I love Sam too much. I hurts because maybe a little part inside of me still loves Will.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
that for it isn't over

Author's Note:

Okay! So this is a filler chapter I guess. But I'm sorry I was busy with school but I'm back now! So, I'll try to update athough I can't promise anything about being regular. Thank you for your support! Love you