Satisfaction

Eight

Warning: Mild Cutting Trigger.

""Are you all right?" Jack asked as soon as I walked through the door.

"Hm? What?" I asked distraughtly. I literally just walked through the doorway. I was use to Jack being here when I got home now, though it had only been a week or so since he's been here, and seems to show up a lot.

"Are you okay?" He said slower this time, like I might be a ticking time bomb, "You seem a bit out of it."

"How would you know, I just walked through the door," I snapped. Whoa, where did that come from?

Jack himself, seemed a bit taken back, "I saw you get off the bus, you seemed a bit bothered." I think he almost sneered.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine..." I trailed off. I literally felt my mind-numbing, my face relaxed, my breathing slowed. I was slipping again.

I walked to the kitchen, then forgot why I was even going there, so I walked back to the front room, dropped my stuff and said, "I'm going to take a shower. You know where everything is, I assume. Help yourself, I guess." Jack looked at me wearily but nodded slowly. I grabbed a towel and the 'real' reason why I was going to take a shower. I turned the handle thing all the way up and turned the shower setting thing on, I got undressed and stepped into the scorching water. I soaked my hair and body but didn't reach for the soap.

I sat on the floor of the tub and looked at the small object resting in the palm of my hand. It's funny, if you were to ask me, what this was ten years before, I would have easily said, "The sharpener part, of a handheld sharpener." But if you were to ask me now, I'd be more hesitant, and tell you the same, but I'd be thinking, "An old friend." The sharp object was in its own way beautiful. Not with looks, but for what it represents. Control, the past, now, the future, stupidity. I'm okay with stupid though. I leaned back onto the cool wall behind me and placed the blade on my thigh. I sighed, I'm two months and four days clean, and I'm I really going to do this?

Nothing big has really happened. Well besides Mr. Statutory Rape, my boss.

I just like too... Feel? Yeah, feel it. And the blood... Oh, the blood. It's not like there's anyone who will truly care. I'm not killing myself, not on purpose anyway. If I were to accidentally cut to deep, and die, I didn't mean it. It'd be just... Oh well. I took a huge breath of the steaming, humid air. I picked up the blade, then looked down at my thigh, and the fading scars that are covering it. I sighed again, I sigh a lot when I slip, don't I?

"Hmm..." I close my eyes and apply pressure to the blade. But right before I glide my paintbrush to the side, the curtain to the shower swings open.

"Ah!" I scream, but move my hand with the blade and sit on it, "What the fuck!"

"Give it," he said.

"Give what?" I said playing dumb.

"You know exactly what," he hissed.

I immediately cover my boobs, when I noticed Jack was looking. He just walked in on me doing that thing, and now he's staring at my chest fat? Boys got issues. I coughed, "Can I help you with something?" Jack huffed, he grabbed the arm that was connected to the hand that had the blade in it.

"You honestly think I care about your female anatomy?" He rolled his eyes and grabbed the blade, "I'll be taking this." Before I could react, he threw it in the toilet and flushed it.

"What the hell?" I roared. Jack looked at me, clearly proud of himself. Before I knew it, the water stopped running, I was on my feet with a towel wrapped around me, and Jack had his arms around me tight. He lifted me over the tub and led me to the couch. Why not the bed? I have no idea. Honestly, my brain was all fuzzy... I sunk back into the couch and looked at the blank T.V. screen.