pen pal - trixya

chapter 3

Date: August 26th, 2015. Wednesday, 04:17 p.m.

From: brightredscare@gmail.com

To: iqkitty@gmail.com

Subject: Do you hate everything? I kinda hate everything

Dear Dolly,

Are you feeling any better after your anxiety attack on Monday? Those are terrible. I've been having quite a few myself, but I've only started now. I imagine what it's like for you since you've had to deal with them for way longer. They aren't fun either way.

School sucked today. It sucks every day, but today was specifically terrible. There are these boys, you see, and that's where my problem starts. They are:

Extremely popular

Seniors

Apparently too hot to be true, but I swear I don't see it

A bunch of assholes

If you're under the impression that I'm not super fond of them, you're right. In fact, I feel like I'm the only one in my entire school who doesn't fall for their bullshit. They used to love picking on me when I was younger, and by that I mean they made half of my school life a living hell. If it weren't for my sister, it would still be, but... Well. Nevermind that. What matters is that I know what they're all about and it's never good.

We mostly ignore each other's existence nowadays, save for a few unfortunate moments. I hadn't talked to any of them since last year, which to me is great, but today they came up to me and my friends and invited us to a party on Friday. I know it doesn't seem like a problem, and considering what is going on with me, one would even say they are probably trying to be nice, but I'm smarter than that. Or just paranoid. Anyway, my friends really want to go, which is at least expected. Senior boys and free alcohol, who wouldn't want to go, right?

Well, I don't want to go. For once, I don't trust them, not a bit. I think they're up to something. When I said that to my friends they didn't take it lightly. See, I've left my house for something other than school for the first time in two months this week. I don't know how ready I am to start living my social life again. I wish they had been more sensible about that, but I guess time goes by differently when you're out of the bubble. They really insisted that I go and the more I denied the more they insisted. I didn't feel like "I don't want to go because I think they're plotting something" was good enough of an excuse, so I let them make their own assumptions and now they think I'm playing hard to get because I've kissed one of those boys before and now I want to hook up with him again.

First of all that is disgusting. The context behind what happened is not cute and it's not like boys ever mean anything to me at all, they should be well aware of this by now, but guess not. Ugh. I'm pissed. I wish I could simply vanish and not have to deal with this anymore because I seriously do not have the energy for this kind of drama. You wanna know what the worst part is? My friend G had the nerve to go after this one boy and tell him that I want to hook up with him which is untrue and not right. I don't even know what to fucking tell them now.

Okay. I'm worked up. I guess I'll go for a run after this and let it out, but now it's all here and I am furious. On a more positive note, I'm really glad you exist. Like, right now, there is no one else in the world that I could've told that to so thanks. I know this isn't exactly your purpose here, but I just need somebody today. And I guess you're that somebody. Thanks again.

Jodie.

***

Date: August 26th, 2015. Wednesday, 05:00 p.m.