Sin For Me

Chapter 16 ☑️

Mason

She wants to talk, I reiterated in disgust as bile seeped up from the depths of my throat. The timing of her request couldn't have been anymore impeccable, given the circumstances of the interesting morning I had. I still wasn't sure if I could even trust her yet, let alone burden her with the wicked details of her past life and mine and how they both coincided into our doomed fate. Thus, corrupting our potential future together.

We had only managed to make sweet, sinful love merely hours ago. I knew nothing of Megan's personality, other than what she offered to share during our late night cuddles in our last life, and what I observed behind and camera lens throughout the years. I didn't know the true her—her favorite color, what her goals in life were, etc. All I knew was what she offered me. I never pestered her for more. I was merely her comfort when she needed it. Her body was all I knew now, and that part of her was Heaven in comparison.

I didn't know if I could trust her with my secrets—OUR secrets just yet. It was all so much to overwhelm her with at once. Surely she would have questions, and there was the issue as to whether she would believe what transpired. We needed more time before I rehashed that painful memory upon her.

I wanted this relationship to be more than sex. I craved intimacy with her, which meant I had no choice than to open up to her some. I had to let her in. The thought was terrifying. I had never let another soul in, she would be the first.

I didn't want her to become suspicious of me, and having any doubts of my intentions. I hadn't made my intentions clear this far, I realized. Sex was all that I had offered her, and she had greedily seized it. But woman were complicated, and I always knew she would have questions. I had vaguely avoided her probing this far, but it was time to release some of my inner demons. A little at a time, I instructed myself.

Currently, Megan appeared pretty comfortable with me, and I intended on keeping it that way. For now. I would only disclose enough to keep her questions at bay. We had to walk before we could run, I validated, as my decision hung heavy in my chest, like a boulder. Ironic thinking, Mason! I scolded myself. We had already did things backwards to begin with. I moved her in with me before we became formally acquainted, and even had sex with her on her first night here.

Nothing in my life had ever made sense, but this time it had to. I had to revert back and reveal truths I had hoped would remain buried and hidden forever. The skeletons in my closet screamed, "tell her you coward!"  And this time, I was prepared to hash out my demons.

I gripped Megan's hand tightly, bringing her to my favorite room in the house—my game room. This room was my refuge—my safe place that I retreated to when I needed to think and escape from the hurdles constantly threw my way. When I missed her, before her return into my life, I would come here as it was a place of comfort and solace.

The room was cozy enough in itself. It consisted of a mini bar at the far end of the wall, which was brilliantly lit up by bright red neon signs that hung from a low ceiling. Tons of liquor selections littered the counter behind the bar, ranging from whiskey to moonshine; I even had several varieties of wine.

Depending on my mood, I would come in here and take my pick. Brown liquor was my alcohol of choice when I needed to unwind after a long day, whereas white liquor was my go-to when anger resurfaced within my mind. White liquor wasn't my best friend—bad choices and regret almost always followed my consumption of such. I barely ever consumed wine—I had recently stocked up wine for a particular woman, just in case wine was her forté.

My billiards table sat in the middle of the room, illuminated by a dim bar light. I had never been the best pool player, but I played well enough. The table complimented the room.

Megan's face irradiated immediately as we entered my safe haven. A hence of wicked excitement hinted at her features, as she spotted the billiard table. I wonder what types of thoughts are running through that pretty little head of yours baby? I wondered. I bet they're the same as mine...

"Wow, I didnt realize you had a private bar," she glanced excitedly. "This is amazing."

She released my hand from hers, and walked toward the billiard table, tracing her fingers across the red felt that lined the top.

"It's so soft," she whispered seductively, referencing the material. My mind scattered in a million directions. She was distracting me from my mission.

I couldn't help but fantasize of bending her over the side of the billiard table and taking her here, right this moment. Or I could fuck her on top of it, or on the bar. I wrestled with the noticeable erection that formed beneath my jeans. Oh, the endless possibilities...

We are  here solely to talk, I reasoned with myself. Don't tempt me baby.

I glimpsed ahead as Megan bent over aside the pool table, in an attempt to retrieve the cue ball that was positioned in the middle of the table. Oh God, she's purposely teasing me, I realized.

Her ass was perched in the perfect angle for me to slide my length right in with ease. Temptation burdened me as I wagered to claim her body once more. If we do this now, we'll never get around to talking, I realized as I came to my senses.

An airy gasp escaped my lungs as  I managed to divert her attention. She rose from her teasing stance, and walked back towards me, smiling.

"Do you play often?" she inquired quietly in that seductive tone.

"Every once in a while I shoot a few balls, but not too often," I replied.

"Are you any good?" she asked. Always eager for information, I sighed.

"I'll let you be the judge of that some other time," I smiled.

Such a tease, I beckoned with myself. She's toying with me, and she's gotten me wrapped around her finger.

I intertwined her arm within mine, leading her the bar  in the distance, and took a seat on one of the stools beside her.

She was breaking my walls down, whether she knew it or not. This feeling was all too foreign. I knew I loved her—but to the extent of this feeling, I was lost. I was afraid. I was afraid of losing the only thing that mattered to me—her.

Here goes nothing, I deliberated with myself, as I prepared to spew my life away into the green eyes of the woman seated before me.