Sin For Me

Chapter 18 ☑️

Mason

The sweet sound of blissful, hushed snoring beside me and the warmth of my arms tightened firmly around Megan's slim waist was the perfect antidote for my dark soul. I could get used to waking up next to her. Back home, I never slept as I held her during her darkest nights. Whereas, she quickly fell into a blissful slumber every time. It provided comfort to my soul to know I could give her that, amiss the troublesome life she endured daily. I'd watch her sleep her intently, and I'd ease quietly out of her bed just before I knew Max was expected home. And we were never caught. Thanks to my position with Max, I knew where he was at all times—his schedule was well known to me, and I took this into account with my secret meetings with his wife.

I watched intently as her chest heaved up and down in peaceful serenity. I felt at peace with my demons in her embrace. Maybe she was the cure for my tainted soul—the light to my darkness in a way.

I breathed in a sigh of relief—she was still here. In my bed, wrapped within my arms. She hadn't abandoned me after my recent revelations. I had expected her to flee after she discovered the truth, but yet here she was. But, she still didn't know the whole truth. We never made it to that point before she fainted. Again. This woman was exhausting, I chuckled.

I watched her sleep a bit longer—she was beautiful even in her slumber. I gently twirled my finger around a strand of her golden blond hair. I despised this color on her, but I hadn't questioned her motives when she colored it. She was beautiful regardless.

Her bare shoulder peeked from beneath the sheet she was bundled in—flawless skin that hadn't been concealed by the bits of her hair that was sprawled amongst the pillow she laid upon. I planted nimble kisses down the length of her shoulder, to her back. Her skin prickled in response to my touch.

Why hadn't she heeded my warning? She knew I was bad for her, and she knew some of my dark past, but yet she still was here. In my bed. Woven tightly within my arms. But why?

She appeared so peaceful in her sleep, and I could watch her sleep for hours. Maybe she wouldn't be a flight risk after all, I concluded. This woman never ceased to amaze me. I had revealed secrets to her that I had shared with no other, and yet here she was. Still.

Megan's presence gave me a sense of calamity that I had never felt with any other woman. She was an angel in comparison—innocent, but not so much so. This woman had secrets too, this much I knew. She may not remember at the moment, but I relived her secrets every single day. Her secrets haunted me as much as mine did. I wished there were a way to make her forget forever.

Maybe things wouldn't be so complicated with us after all, I fathomed. We could make this work. We had to. I just had to ease her into the truth and hope that she would still choose me. She had to. She was all I had left of this miserable life I had been living. Or rather lack of living.

These past few days, I felt like I was truly alive. I had been happier than I ever had been. My smiles were real, and not concocted by false pretenses. I was no longer an empty shell of a human being. So much life filled the empty void of a heart that I never knew existed. And all in a matter of days. Because of her. Megan. My breathe of fresh air.

Everyone had secrets. She clearly had her own demons that she dealt with—secrets that only I was aware of. Secrets that I had helped build, that she had no memory of. Secrets that I'm sure haunted her, or would once she remembered.

Would she ever remember me? Would she remember my role in what happened? What we did? Would she realize that everything I did was for her? For her safety? I was her knight in shining armor, but yet she had no memory of me. It was distressing. Even if it was for a brief moment, I knew she could feel it. Surely, she had to have felt the spark between us that night we met for the first time. The night our lives changed forever.

I knew what I had to do. But would it be worth it in the end? Two truths were better than one lie, but was I really willing to sacrifice the truth for my happiness? To break down the walls I had worked so hard to build?

I squandered in my thoughts for a bit longer, as the sun slowly rose and Megan's breathing shallowed.

Before long, brightness reflected through the huge glass windows in my bedroom, blinding my eyes as I glanced back at my girl. A light shift within my arms broke me from my dilemma as I realized she was finally waking.

I silently swallowed the lump within my throat as I was unsure of what to expect next.