In the taxi drive back from the hospital, i kept tying to persuade myself not to tell him, to wait until things calm down with Jessica and management but i have to, it is the right thing to do, he should now that he is going to be a father.
I love him and he loves me and it won't change anything between, especially the way i feel about him and hopefully the way he feels about me. But im terrified, terrified that he wont want to keep the baby. But i want to, i would never have an abortion.
I walked through the hotel and up to the room, i walked in and Louis and Eleanor were there, sitting on a sofa in the living room talking and cuddling.
They both turned to face me when they hesrd me close the door, i walked over to them when Eleanor pulled me down to sit on the sofa and said.
" Where have you been? Did you go? Are you okay?"
She is so caring, I love her to bits! She is the best friend anyone could ask for.
" Yes, yes i went!"
She nodded for me to continue.
As much as i want to tell her that im pregnant it wouldn't be right if she knew before Harry, I looked at her and said.
"Oh the doctor said that i had this stomach infection, she said that it would go in a couple of days, i will explain more later but have you seen Harry i need to see him."
She smiled at me and said.
" He said that he is going to his special place, Where that is i don't know, but i thought you were with him but obviously not!"
I hugged her tightly and said.
"Thanks, I know where he is"
I quickly stood up not letting her reply and ran out of the room and was heading straight to the roof.
The roof door was wide open when i saw Harry and he said.
" I thought you would never show up"
A huge smile came on my face, I love him so much. I don't feel scared any more, He waited here to see me in our special place.
He opened his arms wide, welcoming me for a hug. I didn't take me long to start walking towards him.
I went to walk towards him but then stopped in my tracks.
He wasn't talking to me.
I watched as Jessica ran into his arms and they started kissing patiently.
My hand clenched over my heart, it doesn't make the heart ache any better, he is acting i know he is, he has to make her believe him, i will just tell him that i am pregnant another time.
I went to turn away and go back to the room but i saw him place his hand on her cheek, i slightly brush his thumb, I felt the tears building up knowing that he does that to me. He is looking at her like he looks at me, when he says something that makes my heart flutter; he looked her straight in her eyes and said.
"Jessica, I didn't think was going to happen but i am falling in love with you"
I started to shake and breathe unevenly. He is falling for her, He isn't pretending anymore. I put my hands over my ears trying to block out their voices.
I thought he was the one and now i am pregnant. With his child.
I quickly ran from the roof and down the stairs, i held in my tears whilst i walked past Lou an El, and went into my room, i closed the door and fell to my knees.
I burst into tears, I love him, but this is wrong, i can't see him be in love with someone else, i can't pretend like this is okay, this is wrong.... no it is disgusting.
I cried out and said.
" Mum why did you leave me here, i need you. I don't want to do this anymore. I cant do this without you!"
I wrapped my arms around myself, rocking back and forth. I need my mum, she would help me right now she would tell me what to do.
I put my hand to my chest, when i felt my necklace, i looked down and read over and over again 'Forever and always'. What happened to forever and always?
You know what no, to me it means, Forever trying, always looking ahead.
This is it! i know what i have to do.
I have to leave, go back to England, find a new home and have this baby.
The baby is what I want to focus on, I love harry but I am not sticking around to see him fall in love with someone else.
I pulled my Laptop out of my bag and looked up flights back to London.
There is one leaving at midnight. That's when I leave, I will go back home, where i belong, where i am safe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's nine o'clock and the taxi is waiting outside the hotel.
I spent the rest of my time packing my suitcase, Eleanor came in a few times, i just said i was packing for when we all leave for America, she told me that they were all going out for a meal.
Which is perfect because i would be gone when they come back.
I couldn't help but cry when they all left, I probably won't speak to them or see them ever again this is it. Before they left i hugged them all except Harry and Jessica because they had already left.
I am going to miss Harry so much, I love him with all my heart but that's why i have to leave, i have to let him go.
I picked up the handle of my suitcase and started to walk out; I left my room key inside and left.
This is it, No more looking back. Goodbye Harry, goodbye family!
