Like Gold

15.

15.

"JASMINE!" my mother shouted before the car had even come to a stop.

The wheels squealed to a brake, staining the asphalt black, and she immediately rolled her window down, her wide eyes frantically taking me in.

"Are you okay?" she asked, reaching towards me. I sighed, letting her pat my face and scan my body. "Piper called me. You look horrible. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Mom," I said, frowning.

She ignored me, shaking her head, and clicking her tongue. Her fingers reached up, brushing my swollen under eyes. "Look at you. Oh, your eyes, Jasmine. Have you been crying?"

Her voice was thickly accented, which only meant one thing – she was upset.

I gently batted her hands away, taking a step back. "Mom, it's fine. Honestly."

"And your face. So, swollen."

"It's fine," I repeated because it was. Sure, it was a difficult day. Even now I thought of Amber and when my eyes shut the mangle wreck flashed in my mind. But now we were standing here in the parking lot, Piper and Jace watching behind me.

My face warmed and I clenched my teeth, willing myself to stay calm. Behave normally and she'll forget it.

But when has she ever let things go when I needed her to? I thought bitterly.

She's worried, I bit back.

Everyone is. I wish they weren't. I wish I was normal.

"You are not fine," she snapped, tutting. "You skipped a compulsory school event, Jasmine. You swore at Piper. That is not fine."

"Mom," I breathed, the urgency raising in my voice. Behind me, I could hear Piper shuffling on the gravel. Of course, she'd recounted the entire day to my mother. "Mom, really. I'm okay now. Can you please let it go? Just – not here?"

"You told me you'd be okay, this morning," she said pointedly, ignoring me. "Jasmine, why didn't you speak to me?"

Something inside of my snapped. It was like everything had been slowly simmering for weeks, months, and now – I was boiling. I was overflowing.

And before I could stop myself, I was shouting, "Because you do this, Mom!"

Her eyes widened and she paused. Everyone paused. My breath caught in my throat.

"Excuse me?"

My voice wavered but I refused to back down. Not now.

"You – you worry and hover and –" I sucked in a tight breath – "It's not that big of a deal, Mom! Amber died one year ago today. So, what if I cried a bit? I just got a little sad for a moment."

"Jasmine, honey. I thought we'd worked on this. It's been a year."

"I know, Mom."

"You said you were better. You said you weren't having nightmares anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"You know I worry about you."

There it was. I squeezed my eyes shut, blinking hard, and turned my gaze to the ground.

"I know," I said. "I know that."

"I worry every night," she continued to rant, her voice on lifting, and I was keenly aware of Piper and Jace, still waiting behind me. Hearing everything. "I worry about you every minute. Every time I see you frowning. Every time your grades slip. I worry and think, what am I doing wrong? You're taking years off my life, you know that?"