Like Gold

30.

30.

FOR THE FIRST TIME in a long time, I spent the entire next day in bed.

Sure, I'd spent a lot of days beneath my covers before, hiding from the world. But not when I had commitments. Places to be. Facades to uphold.

I had skipped work, refusing to so much as move after I'd woken up late this morning.

My eyes were red and swollen from a day of rubbing at tears. I sagged into my mattress, trying to ease the tension that had built up in my shoulders and neck.

I was tired. Tired of smiling. Tired of drifting through my routines, pretending everything was normal. It was bound to happen at some point. I just hadn't expected it to be so soon.

And if my mother had noticed, she certainly didn't say anything about it.

I buried my face deeper into my pillow, my chest aching. I couldn't stop thinking about my mom.

I was a disappointment to her. I would never be enough, no matter how many smiles I forced, how many volunteer jobs I took on, how many awful school days I made myself sit through. I'd never be normal to her.

She wanted her little girl back, but the old Jasmine had died in that twisted metal alongside Amber.

And Amber.

I missed her. I always missed her. Except now, I thought more about Amber before the accident. I thought about when I used to fight with my parents. Back then, it was about their strict rules.

Once, my mom and I had a big fight over a crop top I wanted to wear. She'd yelled at me to put on something more appropriate. I'd shouted that I was almost an adult and two inches of skin wasn't a big deal.

Amber had stepped in with that usual charismatic smile of hers. She'd brushed her hair over her shoulder, taken my mother's hand into hers, and said, "Mrs Ali, it's only two fingers worth of skin. Besides, she'll be wearing a jacket over it. That's fine, right?"

And just like that, my mother had melted, and the fight was over.

I wished Amber was still here. She'd know what to do.

She'd probably diffuse the whole situation in two minutes then go out for coffee with my mother the next morning. I snorted, picturing it. That was exactly what would happen.

My phone buzzed on the mattress beside me and I stilled beneath the covers, waiting.

A second later, it buzzed again, shooting nerves up from the base of my spine. I sucked in a deep breath, grabbing my phone and squinting through the bright light that flooded my room from its screen.

It was a text from Jace.

My heart pinched in my chest. I hadn't spoken to him since yesterday – since he'd driven me to visit Amber.

Since he'd asked me to go out with him.

Blood rushed in my ears and I felt my face warm as I tapped onto his text.

From: Jace

Where are u?

You didn't come to physio today?

I blinked at the screen. I'd forgotten to tell him. I glanced at the time – it was just past ten, meaning he must have just finished his class for the day. My phone buzzed again in my hands.

Are you ok?

I swallowed a deep breath and replied.

To: Jace