Like Gold

17.

17.

"– AND IF YOU NEED ME, you'll go to the office and have them call me."

"Yes, Mom," I sighed for the fiftieth time.

My mom stood, blocking the front door, her hands splayed on her hips as she stopped me from going to school. Her lips twisted uneasily, and she frowned at me, her sharp eyes piercing through me.

After I'd spent hours at the diner with Jace talking about nothing, I had to come home.

And just like I'd expected, my parents were waiting for me.

But, where I expected an argument, all I got was my mom hugging me gently and murmuring, "It's been a long day. Go get washed up. Dinner's on the counter."

On one hand, I was relieved. I'd managed to avoid a lecture, skip an uncomfortable chat. But on the other hand – nothing had changed.

Nothing ever changed, no matter how many red flags I shoved down my mother's throat. Sometimes we'd be close. She'd send me back to therapy against my will. She'd give me another book about grief to add to my collection. She tried. And a week later, we'd settle back into our old routine.

Faking smiles, stifled silence, drifting through the days.

No matter how much people insisted they were there for you, no one wanted to sit through the hard conversations. They cared, but not that much.

I understood. I was exhausting to be around. People felt the need to censor themselves around me. Conversations fell silent when I joined. Masks slipped into place. I understood. It wasn't like I wanted to burden people.

And since I hadn't spoken to my mother last night, that meant I needed to suffer through some sort of lecture in the morning – even if it was one I'd heard a million times before.

Empty words. Because we had called her – or at least, Piper had. And what had she done? Yelled at me in a parking lot in front of my friends?

"And make sure you eat lunch," my mom said finally.

I nodded, tugging my backpack higher on my shoulder. "I will, Mom. Can I go now? I'll be late."

She sighed, stepping aside. "Have a good day, sweetie."

"Thanks, Mom," I replied, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before pushing the door open.

I grabbed my bike and hopped off the porch in one swift motion, wheeling it down the driveway as quick as possible. The morning breeze hit me immediately and I breathed in the fresh air, trying to cheer myself up.

Sure, on Friday there'd been a big fat reminder that Amber was dead, and I was the pitiful leftover. Sure, I'd had a slightly awkward conversation with Jace where I basically just cried the entire time. But today was different. Better.

Who was I kidding?

I dreaded going to school, but I knew skipping school would only cause my mother a heart attack. I'd already taken the Friday and Saturday off from my volunteering at the physio centre. My mom had given me a weekend to bounce back to normal, and that was what was going to happen.

So, I forced a smile on my face and hopped onto my bike, ready for another dreadful day at school.

▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔

As soon as I entered the school gates, I knew something was off.

For the second time in a year, no one looked at me and sent me a pitying look when I entered the school – the first time being when Jace first transferred here.