Unknown Heroes ◆ JeonJungkook✔

Five: Opening Up, For A Change

!TW! implied sexual harassment

I don't know what in hell possessed me when I let him in.

He had given me literally zero reason to do so.

Maybe it was my wish to share my feelings with someone other than Hoseok. Maybe I thought, hey he wants to hear it, no one ever wants to hear it, and then got excited about the thought of burdening yet another person with my bullshit.

But Jungkook didn't really look burdened when he entered my room, just really disturbed. As if I had been the one being so fucking tactless towards him.

"You're a real fucking shitbag, you know that?" I said, slumping down on my chair with too much force, making it roll a few inches backwards, "I can't believe I'm even talking to you." The bite in my words wasn't really getting through, voice still sounding weak and shaky after my dumb crying.

"I know, I know, it was stupid. Like I said." Jungkook looked surprisingly genuine, "Please just- help me understand you, so that this won't happen again." He sat down on the edge of my bad, fingers intertwined, looking at me expectantly, "Why do you hate me and my friends so much?"

"Okay, for starters I hate you because you're an asshole-" I began, making him roll his eyes, "But your friends, well... they just remind me of someone."

I squirmed in my seat uncomfortably, spinning around on it nervously, "In High School I was like- pretty popular, I guess? Not because there was anything interesting about me, but my boyfriend was, well, typical case of fraternity boy? Like these kinda guys, y'know..." I trailed off vaguely, not facing Jungkook.

It was weird, talking about it with an outsider I barely knew something about. Especially one I was on pretty bad terms with.

"I've always been rather, uhm, introverted. But my boyfriend used to drag me to his little parties or whatever. I didn't like them." I felt my chest tighten, eyes running across the room uneasily, trying to avoid new tears from spilling, "One day-" My voice broke and I cleared my throat, starting again more composed, "Uh, one day he made me come to his house and I thought it'd be like every weekend but there were only guys and they were all in his closest circle of friends and the whole house was dark and no one was there but them-"

I heard Jungkook inhale sharply, knowing that he knew were this was going.

"Yeah, well. I think you guessed it already. They didn't- they didn't end up, like, putting it in, but still- I was unable to do anything against them just, uh, had to endure them touching me and all." I sounded incredibly awkward, embarrassed about saying these things out loud. It wasn't really painful for me to talk about it or anything. I just- sort of felt ashamed about having to admit that I let these things happen to me, "It's kinda embarrassing to talk about it, honestly. But yeah- that's it. That's why I don't like people who remind me of them. Of course, logically I know that not everyone's like these guys but still..."

It was silent after that. I didn't dare even lift my gaze, didn't dare look him in the eyes. Maybe it hadn't been a good choice to tell some guy I barely know anything off about my screwed past. But it was my roommate and as that he should probably know about why I have certain... odd mannerisms. 

Like he said, that way it'd be easier for him to understand. No matter how much I hated his guts.

"You shouldn't..." His strained voice cut though the silence, making me look up surprised, "You shouldn't feel embarrassed about talking about it." I expected a look of pity, but he was frowning, staring into space as if he was thinking about something, "I think so, at least. Angry and hurt, yes. But not... that."

I shrugged, rubbing my naked arms uncomfortably, "You- end up blaming yourself." I mumbled almost inaudibly.

Jungkook nodded, clearly having something to say about it but opting not to, probably realizing that he didn't know enough to lecture me in any way. Instead he switched the topic, "Well uh- about Hobi's friends... I know they're exhausting, really, incredibly stupid even. But they would never- they're just good guys with a loose mouth. Nothing dangerous. Or else Hoseok would've never let them close to you. Believe me."

I felt myself smile slightly, "I guess you're right. I'm trying to not look at them biased."

Jungkook nodded, "Also, uhm, I'm... not like those guys, you know? Just because I'm friend with them doesn't mean I'm also a useless meat head."

I cocked a brow ironically, "Are you?"

"They annoy me mostly, I'm not even sure when I ended up friends with them." He admitted, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

It kind of worked, "But you're still defending them?"

"Sure, they're my friends after all." He said it with such a certainty, it was almost heart warming. Hearing him talk about these dense heads as if he knew they were idiots but also his idiots.

"You're pretty loyal, huh?"

He smiled.

"...almost like a dog."

His smile dropped, "God, you're awful."

"And you're a moron for being friends with these brainless monkeys." I grinned, pretty happy about having found this thing that would rile him up for sure.

He threw a pillow after me, making me scoot backwards with my chair, trying to keep myself from laughing, "Ayo if you disrespected me in my own room you can get the fuck out."

He did, getting up before flicking me off at the door, "Fuck you!"

I cackled, laughter holding on even after he closed the door (he closed it without me needing to tell him!!1!).

I sighed, calming down after having spun around in my chair, now facing the desk.

It felt like a punch in the stomach when I realized that I'd just been laughing. Like, I just came out and spoke about my experience with sexual harassment and I laughed?

Incredulous, I stared back at the closed door, asking myself when I became so easy-going with this topic.

Sure, I didn't tell him nearly everything. I left out all the details of what exactly these piss babies did to me as well as many parts of the whole situation and what... happened after wards.

But roughly, this was what happened and Jungkook knew of it now and weirdly, I didn't feel uncomfortable after sharing it with him.

A little bit confused I reached forward, switching the lights on my desk off.

Teeth-brushing is overrated, I was tired. This past hour had cost me more energy than the entire past week.

__

she's sleeping omg

xx