Unknown Heroes ◆ JeonJungkook✔

Twenty Nine: And They Were Roommates

I stared at my reflection in the dark. It was 3 am and instead of sleeping I was staring at a fucking mirror like an idiot.

The touch of Jungkook's fingers felt still prominent on my skin, as if their imprints had burned themselves into me forever.

I... we... I kissed? Him???

I was trying to figure out how it had all ended in this by staring into my own eyes through the quite lifeless reflection mere inches away from my face, searching for the emotions that had whirled through me a few hours ago - the emotions that had made me do whatever I did, say whatever I said.

Back then it was... relief?

I squinted at myself, skeptically judging the definitely sleep-deprived girl that was stupider than she had originally believed, because she really had to spend hours on reflecting on her own actions to understand her own feelings.

So, relief, right?

Not only relief about his reaction to my comic. Though it also played a big part, all the worry I had felt just... unloading into a big pile of thoughtless happiness as, as if the string of a balloon, filled with anxious stress, was cut in half and just flew away.

But also another kind of relief.

Because, obviously, I liked Jungkook. How could I not, after all. But - also obviously - I had been convinced, deep within me, that someone like Jungkook could never see me as more than a friend. I'm the stupid bro-girl kinda girl, one that curses a lot, is messy and loud and just not what handsome law students like Jeon Jungkook would typically go for. It doesn't help that my self-esteem's been fucked ever since High School.

This is why I never really crushed on any one. I never truly believed that it would work out, that it could be mutual, so I never bothered to get invested.

But with Jungkook... we spent so much time together, I couldn't stop myself. And so I was stuck with a stupid teenie crush I never truly considered to be realistic. Sure, Jungkook saw me as someone he is really close to, how could this asshole not after everything. But romantic feelings?

Well, when he just casually came around with his stupid fucking 'I like you', the High Schooler within me that had never gotten a fulfilling romantic life, because she was scared to even face her classmates, had broken through and poof I was a happy girl in love.

Belatedly, I realized that I hadn't blinked in a while, heftily squeezing my eyes shut before opening them again, tearing my face away from the mirror. I rubbed my face tiredly, trying my damn hardest not to regret any of what I did this evening.

Things like kissing and confessions are hard when you're an overthinking dumbass, because you micro-analyze everything afterwards and destroy the entire memory for yourself.

Maybe crawling into bed with Jungkook would help.

A traitorous voice in my had whispered, which I pushed away decidedly. Fuck, no.

But he likes you back.

That's not a free pass to annoy him.

Maybe he can help you to take it easier.

Nu-uh. I shook my head heftily, throwing myself backwards onto my bed.

He won't hate you.

He would if I did stupid shit like that.

Consider that you might actually mean something to him.

I lifted my head from the mattress offended. Why were my thoughts sounding so much like Hoseok?