Holes in The History of The Universe

4: The Many Duties of A Plague Doctor

Samual awoke slowly, rolling over several times and into Alastair's place in the bed, where he was more than a little disappointed to remember his plan for the morning and realize that it had already failed, for Alastair was not only awake, but dressing himself. His first words to him were even, in a stern voice, "I'm glad to see that you found sense last night," only adding salt to the wound. Obviously trying to prevent another outburst, he continued without giving him a chance to speak, "now get up, there's work to be done."

Samual stepped out from the sheets, which had only been heavy enough to serve as a light covering, and into the cool morning air, making sure to slip the shoes on his feet immediately to at least protect them from the cold, he couldn't help but notice that they were leaning into three different shades of blue and purple. He skipped across the patterns of sunlight and shadows covering the ground and to clamber his robes over his head, only to then realize that he had completely forgotten his stockings and trousers.

As he sat down and began to work on tying his garters, he watched Alastair stuf something into two bulbous, hood-like masks at the table. After the stockings had, after several times, been secured on his legs properly, he stepped to the to it, and found the entire surface covered in the various flowers and plants he was using.

"What are these for?" Asked he, picking up a rose petal.

Alastair responded without looking up, "The smell will protect us," he placed one of the masks between his knees as he spoke, and picked up a handful of plants in his fist, which he stuffed into the beak with a large stick.

Samual scoffed, "well that's bullshit."

"Perhaps, but at the very least they smell nice."

He flicked the petal onto the ground and stepped on it, he would never admit it, but he did quite enjoy dissecting flowers in various ways, "Are you gay or something? That's like, really girly."

"I suppose, it is a nice morning."

He began to internally scold himself, remembering that 'gay' was never used to say 'homosexual' in Gaelic, "I mean, are you into men?"

Alasair frowned, "that has nothing to do with it, I do it because it keeps me well, and not only that, but it provides a bit of ife and colour in a time when it seems everyone is dying," he glared as he handed Samual a mask, newly filled with herbs, "here is your mask, do not ever go into public without it, if you are going to be living in the same house as me, you mustn't be around random members of the public too often," then quickly, he added, "and you will refrain from using that type of language here. We will be seeing a lot of pain today, my boy, you will need to be on your most respectful behavior, if not for me or them, then for God."

'Oh great,' thought Samual as the mask was fitted onto his head, 'a Bible bumper.'

If emotions were left out of the equation, Alastair would have been right, it was, in fact, a nice morning. Although a bit cold, the sky was a bright mix of oranges, purples and blues as the sun rose, the darker bits higher in the sky showing remnants of a Scottish night untainted by electrical lights, but even so, Samual was bitter, and the entire universe seemed to be against him. He dropped and shattered a cup, stepped in the crop beds, which he didn't even know was bad for the plants until Alastair scolded him, and quickly learned that the local livestock, were not anything like the cute animals from children's books, but in fact the most obnoxious species on the face of the planet, and didn't hesitate to bite or peck the ankles of anyone who dared disturb them, especially the pigs.

After the morning chores, Alastair emerged from the house carrying a wooden box the way one would a suitcase, and a short stick resembling a cane. He led Samual out from behind the house, picking up several crates of food left beside the gate as he went, and handing him several more, then they stepped into the village. "Be sure to keep your mask on," whispered he, "even if we're careful we still risk infection, I feel poorly for even bringing you out in public," he even dared to hold Samual's hand until it was pulled away moments later.