A New Estate - Crimson Peak

Chapter Forty Six

A warm tongue and hot breath brought me back to reality mere minutes after I gave in to my exhaustion, the insistence not easing even after my eyes had eventually opened.

China loomed over me, her tail wagging as her tongue ran over my right eye.

Grimacing, I gently pushed against her with a tired whine and forced myself into sitting up.

"I am okay, girl, thank you."

My mind was still hazy from exhaustion and pain, dulling my reflexes and temporarily diverting my attention from the fact that China was very much alive and unharmed.

I sat for a foggy minute and allowed her to fuss over me, tail continuing to wag all the while, never slowing down.

My good arm gradually lifted up to wrap around her neck and pull her close so that I could bury my face into the back of her head, all emotions crashing over me in one large tidal wave.

"I am so glad that you are okay too."

I knew that lingering was a terrible idea, that the risks were high if I stayed in one place for too long but I was so relieved and tired that I felt unable to move.

Everything had become too much as I wanted nothing more than to cling onto China as if my life depended on it and forget the world, to wake up from this unending nightmare that had cost dear people their lives.

That was reason enough to continue on, if not for myself then for them.

Although I still felt far from ready, I eased myself away from China and forced myself to stand up, cradling my injured arm to my chest.

"Come on, we need to see this through."

China stared up at me, acting as though she hadn't been attacked by a disturbed ghost and was ready to face more action.

I wished that I could share her enthusiasm.

Stumbling out of the lift, I gathered my bearings and shuffled through the room towards the ever-expansive hallway that led to the front door.

I felt unsteady on my feet, a couple of my steps wobbling as tiredness seeped into my bones.

My walking was frustratingly slow and it had to be when I needed to be outside that the tiredness didn't shake off fast enough.

Though, had I been able to rush out at my quickest then I wouldn't have caught the shuffle of movement that came from the staircase as I passed it.

Abruptly stopping, I turned towards the movement, my defences already on high alert and preparing to flee at the worst outcome.

Relief flooded in quickly and more tears sprang up as the clay covered figure heaved into view, swaying against the banister.

"Oh my lord, Robert," I cried, dashing closer, "I thought you were...that Lucille had..."

He lifted his head, the cooling clay becoming a thick mask that stopped just after his collarbone, a sad smile gracing his lips.

China let out a loud bark and dashed towards him, sniffing at him as if to check that he was not some clay sculpture as she whined and begged for his attention.

"I'm afraid to say that I am not Robert," he replied, voice thick with fatigue, his hand reaching down to ruffle the top of the dog's head.

"Oh," I faltered, taking a step back, "is...is he..."

"No," Thomas said, shaking his head, "he is weak, I shall not lie, but he is alive."

I couldn't muster up more than a nod in response.

My concern for Robert had to be put into the back of my mind, left I find myself too distracted to help anyone else in any capacity.

China ducked away from the stroking hand and continued sniffing at the stairs, eventually disappearing back down them without so much as a glance back.

"Are you okay?"

I looked from where China had disappeared to up to Thomas and gave another nod, ignoring the fear that was restricting my chest.

"As much as I can muster to be right now," I said.

"Then you are prepared to end this?"

"I am," I replied resolutely, "we need to be rid of her."

Neither of us moved, we stood facing one another in the vain hope that one of us could boost the confidence of the other.

In a twisted sense, Thomas had become just as much a part of my life as Robert had, his possessing of Robert had blurred my lines between the two and it was hard to differentiate who I was looking at sometimes.

Perhaps that was why, as we stared at one another in a lingering moment, a tether snapped between us that brought us closer to one another, our lips meeting in a desperate kiss that felt neither right nor wrong, simply needed.

The clay keeping our skin from making contact mattered naught, his hands settled on my hips as my arms wound around his torso, fingers of my good arm clinging tightly to the back of his shirt.

In my eyes he was Robert as much as he was Thomas and the fear of losing them both by the morning terrified me.

Was it possible to love them both?

Enough so that I feared losing them both equally despite one of them logistically already being out of reach?

Although we broke the kiss, we continued to hold one another, temples resting together as I caught my breath.

"That is a wonderful farewell gift," he said with a humourless laugh.

"Don't say that, this isn't our last goodbye."

"Darling, I'm afraid that it is likely so," he sighed, his arms tightening around me. "With my remains gone, there's nothing left to tether me here once Lucille's influence has been destroyed."

"But I don't want you to leave."

We pulled away from one another, him resting his hands holding onto the top of my arms before gently brushing away invisible bits of dust.

"Unfortunately that is nature, I shouldn't be here, it is unnatural."

He met my eye with a saddened smile, one of his hands moving to my hair, pushing it away from my shoulder so that he could rest a cold palm against my jaw.

"If we are meant to, then we shall meet again."

I frowned, licking my lips as I looked away from him, unable to take his expression without tears stinging my eyes.

"That does not sound promising."

"I'm afraid that it is the best that we can do."

Lifting my eyes back to his, I took a deep breath through my nose and pressed my lips together, giving him a short nod and an unsatisfying smile.

Of course he was right, I was not oblivious to the hard truth but that did not mean that I had to like it or accept it willingly.

Taking another deep breath to try and stem the tightness in my chest, I moved on from the conversation by turning back towards the open front doors, which were repeatedly banging open and closed on their rustic hinges.

Reaching for Thomas' hand, I clasped it tightly, our fingers lacing together as we headed outside.