My love, My life, My purpose

Part 14

It was the day of Alan's play I had gotten off shift to go and see it, luckily I got to be back stage, which was great, He has such a raw Talent for acting, there was scenes when Alan was back stage but not much most of it was for costume changing
" well what do you think"
" I think your amazing"
" Alan your on in 5" The director was running about backstage frantically
" this is the scene where I have to"
" oh just go and do it, honestly Alan stop worrying"
" Rickman your up"
" go on break a leg"
He smashed the play, and afterwards there was a party backstage
" so Ellie Alan tells us you play the guitar"
" oh just a bit I mean"
" she's being modest, she used to be in a band, she's brilliant"
" your just being nice"
We stayed for most of the party Alan was pretty drunk and he was wobbling about everywhere
" I think it's time to get you home what do you say"
" I knew I could count on you" his words were slurred
" okay handsome avoid the glass"
Alan being drunk slipped and put his hand right into the pile of glass on the table
" ooowwww fuck"
" it's alright, it's alright, somebody call an ambulance"
"Can't you drive him"
" and possibly kill him no I've been drinking"
An ambulance was called and Alan was helped Into the ambulance where I was told to keep pressure on his hand that has shards of glass Jammed into it
" I love you"
" Ok Mr party just keep still"
"Do you love me back"
" you know I do"
" yeah I know"
We arrived at the hospital and were taken to a free bed which trust me was a miracle there was any
" alright Mr Rickman, let's take a look at this hand"
It was a young doctor maybe three years older than me and Alan he held out his hand
" I'm doctor shepherd"
" Ellie Morrice"
" right how did you manage this then"
" oh some idiot left glass lying about" Again Alan's voice was slurred
" and how much have you had to drink"
" I don't know"
" he was celebrating you see after an amazing performance"
" so your an actor"
" I wouldn't be without this one"
Alan squeezed my hand with his good one and smiled, the sentimental smile he gives me when he's being all lovey Dovey
" right I'm going to put a bandage on that and then I will need Ellie here to fill out some forms"
" certainly doctor"
He had finished the bandage and then he took me out to the reception area and handed me a form
" He's lucky to have you"
" thank you"
" but you see I don't see you with someone like him"
" excuse me"
" you should be with someone better"
" It's not really your place"
At that doctor shepherd who I came to find out his first name was Derek tried to kiss me
" get off"
" oh come on you can't be serious"
" I'm perfectly serious, I have a boyfriend"
" what's going on"
" nothing it's fine"
" did he just try to kiss you, did you just try to kiss her"
" Alan"
" You know I've met people like you, you think your Mr big shot, that because a woman is in a relationship that nothing applies that the other half doesn't matter"
" Alan, let's just go"
" okay fine fine"
I wasn't expecting Alan to turn around a second later and punch him
" ALAN"
" Sir what do you think your doing"
" Matthews it's fine I was out of line" Dereks voice was muffled as he checked for blood on his lip
" Right come on before you get yourself arrested"
We walked out the hospital hand in hand and called for a taxi home, Alan didn't say anything until we were at home in bed he had climbed in and turned away from me.
" Alan, darling"
" did you let him"
" no of course not"
" Good"
" you were really great you know"
" didn't seem that way earlier"
" well I couldn't exactly say that at the hospital could I"
" so your not mad at me"
" no but you can't go around punching people"
" yeah I know I'm sorry"
" it's okay honestly"
Alan turned back to me and gazed into my eyes
" I love you"
" I love you more"
Soon after that Alan fell asleep, it took me a while to fall asleep replaying tonight's events in my head, i felt bad but at the same time I couldn't help but laugh, I got out of bed and made a cup of tea sat on the windowsill and gazed out the window, there was so much we still had to overcome but it didn't seem hard, when I thought about our future I didn't think about fame and money, i thought about simplicity and love, I hadn't noticed Alan standing at the doorway to our room
" oh Jesus Al, don't scare me like that"
" sorry you were deep in thought I didn't want to interrupt you, what were you thinking about"
Alan sat down beside me and grabbed my hand
" I was thinking about us"
" ok... was it bad, should I be worried"
" no no I was thinking about our future"
" oh yeah and is it happy"
" more than happy, it's me and you I mean what could be better"
" so we haven't..."
" haven't what"
" you know fought or anything"
" people have their differences but I don't see us leaving each other because of them"
" good, cause I never want to leave"
" we won't I promise"
" thank you, I'm sorry about earlier"
" stop apologising there's no need you were only protecting me"
" I know but I shouldn't have even asked you, I should have trusted you more"
" Alan it's okay really you've been through heartbreak before, you weren't just protecting me you were protecting yourself and I get that"
" thank you I..."
" Alan you okay"
" I think I'm gonna be..."
he ran to the bathroom
" Alan"
I was half way there when I heard spewing
" okay okay sh..shush it's okay"
I sat rubbing his back for 10 mins before it all came up
" better"
He nodded whilst leaning up against the wall
" can I have some water"
" water yes of course two seconds"
I ran and filled up one glass half way and carried it carefully to Alan
" here, don't gulp it down otherwise it will just come right back up again"
" ah thank you"
" don't mention it, come on let's get you to bed, I'll bring a bucket through just incase"
I grabbed a bucket from under the kitchen sink and swiftly walked through to the bedroom tucking Alan in and climbing in beside him.
" oh Alan your boiling"
" I feel freezing"
" come here"
I stroked Alan's hair And after about half an hour asked how he was
" my stomach is still churning"
" you want a hot water bottle"
" no I'm okay, could you erm..."
" what"
" could you sing please"
" ok what do you want to here"
" anything"
" ok erm let me think, got it"
Somethings we don't talk about, rather do without
And just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love ashamed and proud of  together all the while
You can never say never
While we don't know when
But time and time again
Younger now than we were before
At that I heard a faint snore, I looked down to see Alan asleep at last, I smiled
I won't let you go, I won't let you go, I won't let you go, go

I tweaked the words at the end there hope you guy's enjoyed this chapter