sorry for any mistakes.
Trinity Hazel Banks.
Trin.. | March 15
—
"Trinity!" I heard my mama call my name.
I huffed, pulling the covers off of me. I slipped my feet into my swan slippers that were near the end of my bed. I grabbed my blanket, and walked out of my room; walking down the hall to my mama room.
"Yeah ma?" I looked at her.
"Chile you need ya' hair done." She looked at me, "Come watch this movie with me."
"What movie ma?" I waved her off, "I just took my wig off. Let me be sad today without the bullying."
"Its called Black Box." She moved over.
I closed her room door, and walked over to the side of the bed that was empty. Kicking my slippers off; I kicked my feet up, and wrapped up in my blanket.
"You talked to your father today?" She asked me.
"I talked to him last night before I went to bed." I shrugged.
"Ok, and your brother said call him when you get up." She told me.
"Ma, you ever had a miscarriage?" I asked her.
"Yeah, it was actually right before I had you." She nodded.
"I feel like it's my fault." I looked down, playing with my fingers.
"Baby everything happens for a reason. We don't know what happened at the time, we don't know why it happened, but we know there's a reason for everything. Maybe it just wasn't your time baby, God knew he had big plans for you. You gone get another chance, this time you're gonna be prepared." She grabbed my hand.
"We never talked about it after." I bit my lip, to stop myself from crying, "I pushed him away, and he tried so many times; but I just left him. Now he got another baby."
Which was true, at times I felt like it was all my fault.
"Trinity it's gonna be—"
"It's not ma, it's not ok. It's all on me." I shook my head, "We was s'posed to get through that together."
"Stop blaming yourself for something you had no control over. Now it's one thing to right your wrongs, but you can't control what happened." She said, sitting up to give me a hug.
I didn't say anything back, I just sat there thinking about everything that happened.
"Ready to start this movie, or do you have more to get off your chest? You know you can talk to me Trin." My mama said.
"Start the movie, I'm finna go grab my phone." I told her.
"You need to stop holding everything in, and let it out. There is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings because all that holding it in shit is gonna make you blow up." She told me.
"Ma I'm fine." I gave her a weak smile.
"You and Tristan get that shit from y'all prideful, stubborn ass daddy, cause one thing I'ma do is let all that shit out." She shook her head, grabbing the remote.
"Ma start the movie." I shook my head.
"Ok." She nodded.
I chuckled, leaving out the room. I walked down the hall, going back into my room. I grabbed my phone off the charger and seen that I had missed notifications.
7:47
Saturday, March 15
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