Looking in the mirror, I knew the difference between my hate and faking the love I tried to give to my father. It was only to a certain extent that I was willing to try throughout all of this. But, no matter how many times I tried throughout these years, he never wanted to change...
And that is the problem...
It's one thing; to willingly bring in a woman and her child, but who knew you would bring the exact copy of yourself.
'You scheming drunkard, did you think that I will change my plan because you brought that stupid mistress of yours; there's an amount of stupidity I should play for you,'
"Great, now I have to plan from the start and consider new objectives," I said while still brazenly staring at myself in the mirror. Since I moved out, I should consider a new job; since I'm not fond of relying on a friend for too long.
Because my family tarnished credibility, it would be best to look for something in the community that doesn't judge based on baseless rumors 'that's true,' but is willing to hire someone based on actions and intelligence. In the perfect place for that is the Library, the only place a nerdy girl can count on when it comes down to books: that were made, with perfection and with a chef kiss.
"Jasmine, breakfast is prepared; are you coming down?" Kiara yelled out to me.
Instead of replying, I prepared myself to go downstairs and walked out with a pitiful expression on my face. I know better than anyone what type of game Kiara is playing with me and I'm not in the mood for it. The way she has been acting recently, I could tell she needs something from me. She doesn't dare to come up to me and ask, which is concerning because the reason I became her friend in the first place was that she had a bold and honest personality even when she was angry.
'So, it's pissing me off on the way, she coming at me but, I just ignored the most parts of her aggression,'
There's a certain extent I can take of that too...
So, since she wants to play a game of secrets, I'm all for it too.
After that day, Kiara and I have been dealing with some problems in our friendship. I knew she was supportive, but I knew her true self better than anyone; there were secrets that I tended to keep because those were her scars to deal with while it was my job as a friend to make sure she doesn't turn out like me. Friend or foe, I needed to know where my standards stood and draw a line.
***
I now have my life together, and a job at the local book store: was hired based on my intelligence. My boss is the typical lady of any boss, 'Which I can say is not very fond of each other but a cordial relationship.' She is one of the few people that judge someone based on the actions that she sees with her own eyes rather than others because rumors themselves are baseless.
Wondering
Watching
Seeking
I concluded that every person that walked into the bookstore was someone that needed to escape from reality. I was also one of those people, always keeping myself busy to avoid the pain that hid in my heart. Knowing that there is no such thing as running away from your pain makes me feel pity for those who think that; because that thought would never last, the day they decide not to use their pain reliever will be the day their problems start running back to them.
Working here for almost three weeks and I have concluded that working at this bookstore is one of the best decisions I made for myself. Walking toward each shelf, I picked up the misplaced books and put them where they rightfully belonged.
That is what I was doing before the bell of the bookstore rang...
Looking towards the door, I saw a familiar figure.
He was handsome from the depth of his brown eyes to the gentle expressions of his voice I used to know. He was handsome, from his generosity, advice, and opinions he shared on this cruel world. The touch of his hand upon my own was electrifying in its very own beloved way. I loved the way his voice would spark with a new idea or was it attractive when he lost himself in the moment while speaking to me and wore a mask for those around him. Years ago, I gave him my heart and kept him safe that's the way it was between the two of us. Words that were unspoken since he left.
Beautiful in any shade, my light to my darkness.
Unconsciously my legs began to move towards him, and the next thing you know, my body hugged his muscular body, and I whispered, "I missed you lots, you idiot," while my arms let go of him and playfully punched him on his side.
"Now is that how you talk to your ex-boy best friend," he uttered.
"I mean, you are an idiot, and did you have to mention us being ex-best friends; we could have had a good conversation...you know, positive vibes, no negativity," I uttered while moving shyly.
I'm rarely shy around people but him; he is the only person that can make me feel this way.
Having him around made me more adventurous; the pain and hatred that I had were nonexistent.
________
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