That morning I woke up to the sun rays hitting my skin. Every day is a routine that I follow daily, some things change, and mostly every day, my hearts sink even deeper into the abyss. In this house, mostly everything is the same, including my father being a drunkard, my money-hungry sister, and my step-mom manipulations.
Finding my way off my bedroom floor, I winced in pain as the soaring bruises on my body started to cause my body even more pain. The more steps I continue to take towards the bathroom, the more I felt my life energy being taken away from me.
This pain is what I was accustomed to ever since the death of my mother, and it was something I had to get used to eventually. My secrets, my pain, and the hatred that grew inside of me, I kept deep in my heart. Because in my heart, I deserved nothing more and nothing less; I was unlovable.
I knew the real world: the reality of things.
But even if that was the reality I saw, I tried to cling to things and emotions to make my life a little more bearable.
When I made myself into the bathroom, I looked into the mirror, staring at a foreign-face that the people around me hated but deep down the only face that I will love the most. The bruises on my face were not as horrible as it usually was, but it's nothing makeup couldn't fix 'right.'
Before I started to do my makeup, I made myself toward the shower to clean myself.
As I began to strip off my clothing and stepped in the shower, my shower thoughts, as I called them, I started to ponder inside my head.
'No matter what universe you cross in, you will always be a piece of trash,'
'Why do you keep trying no-one wants you,'
'How can you have such a high confidence when you can't prove anything even your worth without the support of your family- I mean trash family since your new mother and sister came in, they ruin our family reputation; now no one trusts this family,'
Wondering and considering my negative thoughts...
I knew I didn't have a lavish lifestyle, but it was still durable before my father's new family came. If he just gave me a chance after my mother's death, I could have built something for us to survive on; it's not like I didn't have an IQ of 220 because I did.
But due to our current reputation, not a single business will trust me or the family name I carry. Right now, I am in no position to take control of my family, so just a little while, I will just- continue to withstand the pain that is given to me.
Enough thinking, I told myself as I began to step out of the shower and reached for my towel, and started to dry off my body parts slowly. When I was dry, I wrapped my towel around my body and walked towards my curtains and grabbed both hands with a tight grip, and closed them. When I shut the curtains, I made myself towards my closet and picked an outfit that suited my mood for today, which was a yellow hoodie and some random jeans I could find.
Now that I was done, I did my makeup in the bathroom and did my hair in a sloppy bun.
When the clock turned 8:05 A.M., I grabbed all necessities and my glasses on my way out of my room door. Getting to the bottom of the staircase, I noticed my useless family at the table, eating as a big happy family of three without a care in the world.
As usual, I don't say good morning. I just give the silent treatment because, in this family of three, no words from me were their heaven. I wanted nothing from them, even the small things, so I walked towards the medical cabinet and grabbed something for the hangover.
When I was on my way out of the house, I heard my stepsister say, "I wonder how that party was like last night; wait...Jasmine, you were there right, you can tell me."
YOU ARE READING
Love Pain & Hatred
Romance"You know what they say, a man that doesn't have nothing to lose will be willing throw himself in the deeps of hell," he said. Anthony Knight was a man born with money and connections; his family had rules and so he made his own. Nothing in this w...
