Bitter & Sweet

3. Pha's a Stalker?

Beam's POV

Watching Yo was like watching a fairy in a garden full of flowers. He was beautiful. So beautiful that I couldn't really comprehend. It wasn't right for a boy to look even more beautiful than a woman. And he carried himself so gracefully. Like he was walking on clouds all the time. His eyes were huge and seemed to be constantly filled with tears. He looked vulnerable and it made me want to protect him. I wasn't naturally a protective person, but something made me sure that Yo would need it.

It's been nearly two weeks since Yo came to work here. He's made friends with everyone, especially the other part time employee, Ming, who seemed to have decided that Yo should have been born his little brother. It was strange, how everyone seemed drawn to him but Yo himself never seemed to think he was anything special. How could he not know how enchanting he was?

The strangest part was how Pha was reacting to Yo, and that was the thing I wanted to get to the bottom of right away.

"Isn't Yo here yet?" Pha paced his room, like a caged tiger, waiting to be freed. "Shouldn't he have been here already?"

"He asked Ming to take his shift today," I answered, watching my friend. "He has an overnight field trip with some other students. He asked Ming to cover him today so he'd have time to pack."

"Overnight! Overnight with other students? Who's going to take care of him?" Pha asked, looking at me as though I'd just told him the sun wasn't coming up tomorrow. When I gave him a look he changed tactic, "Who's going to get my coffee?"

"There are other people here to get your coffee. That's not actually his job," I said. I was going to get to the bottom of this strange behavior. I had a hunch, but I didn't want to jump the gun. "While we're talking about Yo, why do you ask him to have coffee with you every day? Why do you make him eat lunch with you whenever you can?"

"We have lunch or coffee when we're working together," Pha tried to explain it away, but I knew better.

"You're doing the exact same work with Ming, but he's never been invited to have lunch with you. You don't ask him to get your coffee and you don't ask him to drink with you," I said, pointing out his inconsistencies. "You never ask me when Ming is coming. But you're always asking about Yo. Besides, you were crazy nervous about meeting him on the first day. You told me he was beautiful before he even got here. What's going on with you? Do you have a crush on that boy?"

"It's not a crush!" Pha denied, shaking his head. He finally looked at me with what I could only describe as a slight blush on his cheeks. The first time I'd ever seen Pha look embarrassed. "It's not just a crush. I'm in love with him, Beam. I've never felt this strongly about anyone. I think I want to marry him."

"Marry him?" I couldn't hide my surprise. This was unprecedented. My friend, who showed a cold and confident face to the world, was acting like a school boy in love.

"I don't know how to explain it," Pha said, sitting down hard, like he'd lost all his strength. "Since the very first time I saw him, I wanted him. I wanted him to look at me and never look away."

"I'm glad you've finally decided to join the land of the living," I smiled at my friend. "Watching you pretend that work is all you'll ever need in life is a bit depressing, but take it slow. You've only known him for two weeks."

"I've known him much longer than two weeks," Pha sighed, looking as though the admission cost him some pride. "I've watched him for years."

"What do you mean?" I couldn't understand why I'd never even heard him talk about Yo before he was hired if he'd known him for years and felt this way about him.

"Remember when my Dadaji died, that day at the hospital?"

"How could I forget? I still get upset thinking about what your parents did," I thought back to that time. Pha's parents were always fighting, but they chose the day that Pha's favorite person in the world died to tell him that they decided to get a divorce. His grandpa was gone, his parents divorcing. It must have felt like his whole world crashed down at once.

"I was sitting alone, outside the room where Dadaji's body was waiting. I was hurting so much, but my father always told me that men don't cry. We had to be strong so no one would take advantage of our weaknesses," Pha seemed lost in his memories so I didn't interrupt. "This little boy, he couldn't have been older than 8 years old came to sit by me. He looked as sad as I felt, but he held my hand and told me that everything would be okay. He turned his tear-stained face to me and smiled and said, 'We're going to be okay. We just have to hold on.' I was 13 years old and an 8 year old made me feel safe again."

"That was Yo?"

"That was my Yo," Pha said, a little smile tugging at his lips. "About ten minutes later, his father came over to get him when they moved his mother's body to the morgue. She died that day too."

I took a deep breath, trying to take that in. Poor Yo had lost his mother the same day that Pha lost his grandpa, but somehow had the strength to help comfort him. That was amazing but it still wasn't enough. Ten minutes when you're having the worst day of your life doesn't necessarily equate to knowing him for years.

"I know what you're thinking, but that wasn't the last time I saw him," Pha said, like he'd actually read my mind. "I saw him every year after that on the same day."

"What? Why?"

"The next year, I went to give Dadaji some flowers and Yo was there for his mother at the same time. We were in the same columbaria, just one room apart, just like that day in the hospital. He sat on the floor in front of her urn, eating a piece of cake. It was his birthday." I gasped at that news, feeling sorry for my little friend, while Pha continued speaking. "His mother died on his birthday, but he was the one comforting me in the hospital. After that, I always waited for him. Every year, he'd come to have cake with his mom and tell her about his life. And I would hide around the corner and listen to him."

"You never spoke to him? Pha, that's crazy," I said. I always thought Pha was so confident. Could it be that he was afraid of being rejected? "But even if you think you know him, you've only really spent time with him for two weeks. Is that enough to say you're in love?"

"I know you're worried about me, but he's the one I want," Pha said.

"I'm not worried about you," I refuted, though it was only partly true. I worried about him but he wasn't my only worry. "What about Yo? Do you know how sweet he is? How determined to succeed? How hard he works? I love you, Pha, and I'm always going to be your friend, but I won't allow you to hurt that innocent boy. I won't let you use him and throw him away like all the girl's you've dated in the past."

"I'm not going to use him, Beam," Pha said quickly. "I'm serious about him. I love him. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make him happy. You'll see."

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to believe in Pha, but I wouldn't stop protecting Yo, even if I had to protect him from my own friend.