Another *very* long chapter for you guys! It's starting to get interesting again. 👀
August 16th, 1986.
For two whole months, Christine struggled to rationalize just why abortion was seen as the taboo, out-of-the-socio-normative-of-society, subject that it was, and why getting one suddenly meant that a woman was villainized--despite it being her body and her choice.
Because of the condemnation that she would face, the idea of confiding in somebody only for them to betray her trust and bring her secret to light, undermined her a fuck-ton more than what her actual termination did, which further emphasized her crippling fear of reproval.
Until her procedure, she didn't raise very-much scrutiny when it came to the topic, and she didn't know anybody else that did either. Of course, she had always felt strongly about a woman's right to abortion, and also the fact that she would never hesitate over getting one had there been a call for it. But, spending more time with her extremely old-fashioned, staid, sister made her much more cognizant of the internalized misogyny that a lot of individuals tend to possess. Even other women. Liane, definitely, for one.
It was upsetting to see, but it was the standard attitude expected. Her sister wouldn't even have a child out of wed-lock for fear of being viewed as subordinate, let alone vindicate abortion, so Christine didn't really know what she was expecting from her.
Not that she created hypothetical scenarios for Liane to answer questions regarding, but just the way that her sister would turn her nose up whenever the word 'abortion' was uttered on the television, or even just in the newspaper. The topic itself was gaining a lot of traction in the months leading up to and after her termination, which forced Christine's anxiety levels to skyrocket.
All she did know, though, was that she desperately craved even just a morsel of support from those around her. But if she never told them, then how were they to know?
Those thoughts constantly ricocheted off of each wall in her brain. She knew that if she entertained telling somebody she would've had to be vigilant of who would possess such information, but she also didn't know who, besides Heather, she could trust.
Liane and Lauren were out of the question completely--she'd never met anyone even half as conservative as that pair, and she didn't want to either. Anthony was as supportive as they came, but he was a worrier. If he got wind of Christine's extremity, it would begin to fester away at him until he had to tell somebody--he was a lot like Tommy in that sense. Lucas and Helen hadn't involved themselves with matters of the family for a short while which, in Chris's mind, immediately dismissed the possibility of them attaining any insight.
So, for the two months leading up to that point and for as long as she could even think about it, Chris settled on the idea of not telling anybody. No matter how much it crucified her.
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