The cost of Infinity

Chap 11: Half-Baked plan

I follow Sin into the room. She lightly places her hand on what I thought was a regular wall, but lights turn on in the background revealing a walk-in closet. Everything is lined up perfectly. A person diagnosed with OCD would think this closet is heaven. She has all of her uniforms and casual clothes already put away.

Hmmm, so she is staying here. It's a bit unnerving knowing she has easy access to me. Especially since the last few days have been short but aggressive interactions, I need to keep my composure above all else, but it's hard to focus when I watch her take her shirt off, and I can see all the muscles ripple in her back.

I sit in a chair in the corner and watch her. Every move she makes is so precise and calculated. She barely makes a sound as she goes about the task of putting her uniform away and getting her sleepwear together. It's as if every motion is scripted out. However, much like me, she can't hide the expressions on her face, and right now, she looks as confused as I feel.

"What do you want?" I ask. she turns to face me with that eyebrow arched, so I repeat the question. "What... do... you... want?" She stares at me for a minute. I can tell she is trying to read me by how fast her eyes are moving. She's checking my body language, but I know I'm not giving anything away. "I understand, you have been given orders, and your entire life, you have done whatever was asked of you, but what do YOU want?" I emphasize.

The silence between us is deafening. I can tell she has never been asked about her wants or needs before, so it's taking her a minute to get her thoughts in order. "Let's table this conversation for after my shower," she suggests. I nod in silent agreement and watch all of her muscles flex as she walks into the bathroom. A Sculptor would kill to have a muse like her.

While I wait, I ask myself the same question. What do I want? Well, let's start with what I know.

First, I know I was brought here to be a part of a breeding experiment. Second, This fleet has tried this experiment several times before with some success, but they are still searching, so something is still missing from the equation, and they think I may be that missing link. Third, I know Sins' species needs us to breed successfully; this gives me leverage until we find out if this is even possible. Four, we were matched by a system. But, I clearly remember that information about other possible matches was omitted from the conversation I had with the scientists. Five, Ms. Manager said Sin was selected, which implies that other choices were possible.

I'll have to remember to ask Niko for the details on that later. I know I don't want to be forced into anything, but I also know I can't change everything about this situation, and I can't leave. So.... what do I want?...

If I were on Earth, I would say I've already settled down, so now I want to find someone I can build up with, but I'm not on Earth. I'm fighting against Stockholm syndrome, Lust, and the knowledge of my success here being the catalyst of the enslavement of my entire species. My people will be forced to breed and discarded back on Earth like trash when they are no longer useful. Niko said, if I fail, I will be sent home with no memory of this ever happening but can I truly trust his superiors to do that? Based on how the head scientists talked to Sin in the hallway id say no; that isn't an outcome I should count on.

I can't afford to think like a lovesick little girl anymore. I need to start thinking diplomatically, so I grab a pen and paper and begin to write out my list of demands:

I want a guarantee that my people will have the option to not participate in this breeding program if it is successful. In exchange, I will agree to take the path of least resistance, fully participate and provide the head scientist with all of the data she needs to ensure success. I will raise my child/ren; they will have all the best opportunities this life will afford them. In return, I will remain with my mate and my family until I take my last breath, and I will have as many children as my body can handle to ensure the survival of their species. I want to pick my mate. If I have to be with this person forever, which I agree to, then I want to meet any other potential matches this system produced for me. The system may be highly advanced, but I doubt it can measure natural chemistry and true intentions. That is why the scientists are still studying me after all.

I'll leave the rest open to negotiations and use it as an invitation to list their demands of me.

Once finished, I take a moment to reflect, and instantly, I'm reminded of the serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I have always loved that poem, and right now, it's speaking to my soul in a way it never has before. I've never felt more in control of a situation than I do right now. I need to take this newfound courage and run with it. If I can convince Sin to stand by me on this, I feel confident I can persuade her superiors. It's a half-baked plan, but it's better than doing nothing.