STAY IN ME // [ Ziam ]

Chapter 28

Liam pulled away. He... He was gonna kiss Zayn. No, it shouldn't be like this. He cannot kiss him. What is even wrong with Liam? Why does he always mess up. No he won't kiss him at all.

Liam kept looking into Zayn's eyes which were in a frown. Zayn had no clue about why Liam did it. Wasn't he still comfortable? What was the reason for him pulling away like this?

Liam felt the tension that was getting created out there. He couldn't face any questions by Zayn right at that moment. He was numb. His hands, his feet and he himself were all frozen. He wanted to run away but something held him back. He couldn't run. He removed his hands from Zayn's waist, moved back slowly and ran away.

Zayn just stared at the direction towards which Liam ran away. He felt clueless, heartbroken for what had just happened. Why would Liam run at the mean time he was about to kiss, fucking kiss Zayn? Why can't he accept his feelings? The pain was mixed with a bit of rage which was pouring out. He clenched his fists and hit it hard on the table. He just lost it, again. Lost to Liam's fears again. He had wanted this date to go smoothly. He had thought Liam would finally open up about his feelings. But, no nothing happened. Instead he ran away cause he is so busy hiding himself behind the closet. Zayn sat in the chair. Tears running down his eyes, seeming endless. Why? Why did Liam do it?
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Liam returned home, driving fast. It had felt like he was losing his senses. He didn't even care if he was about to hit any car and died in the accident. He was fighting. Fighting against himself, the real him. He wanted it to be subdued, oppressed somewhere deep within him. He didn't want to face reality. He didn't want to show himself. He knew he was wrong in doing it. He knew he was hurting Zayn. He knew he wasn't fighting his demons But the angel within him. But he always consoled himself that what he was doing was nothing wrong.

He laid down in his bed of  his stomach. His head revolved around the incident which had taken place today. Was he guilty or was he not? He was in a never ending circle of confusion. He held the pillow tight near his face as it soaked his emotions within itself. He let out his pains in his pillow. Words were stuck in his mouth. It was the moment he was questioning himself. Questioning himself of having broken someone heart, of having pained someone. And he knew for a fact that having hurt Zayn he himself was hurt. It was high time he accepts himself. High time he tells the truth. He wants Zayn in his life. He is important to him, his very first priority, the very person he cares about, the very person he loves. Shouldn't that be enough for him? Why does he always expect Zayn to come and make things ok? Cannot he do it once? Cannot he really tell Zayn about how he feels? What makes it so hard? Why does he have to be this insecure about almost nothing? Why can't he make a move this time? For the very first time. He was trying hard this time to realize his mistakes, his faults. He wants to mend it by himself. He wants to heal Zayn of the pain he has borne down with the unprecedented patience, without ever complaining, without ever getting angry. Doesn't he deserve this love? The same love he has been trying to so beautifully nurture with all care and dedication. It has always warmed Liam's heart. He may not be very good with words but he knows what Zayn is to him. He wants to shower down every bit of love in this world. Probably, ahhh well, a really long wait. But he will this time. He will. He definitely will.
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