Before you fall apart

Chapter 14

“Do you want to meet the boys?” Harry asks while he was swimming in his pool. You sit on a lounger on the side and read a book. “Yeah, I think this would be cool” you say and close your book. He swim to the edge and looks at you. “Yeah, it seems like you are really interested” he says and raise his eyebrow. You just look at him. Then he sighs, puts his arms on the edge and pulls himself up in one movement.

After he is out of the water, he takes a towel to dry himself off and sits across from you. “What’s happening?” asks Harry, giving you a worried look. You know that you don’t look good today, the memories and dreams keep getting worse and you try to hide it as best as you can. “Nothing, what should be wrong?” you ask a question and try not to look at him.

On the one hand because you don’t want to meet his worried look, on the other hand because you are trying not to pay attentione to the drops of water on his upper body. “You tell me. You don’t look happy and you are so quiet today. That’s not your way otherwise. I also know that you hardly sleep at night. You really don’t want to talk about it?” he asksk softly and now you look at him in surprise. You were hoping he didn’t notice. “How...?” you can just bring out and stare at him.

“I hear you cry sometimes or when you wake up after a dream” he answers your question. Nervously you start to play with the ring that you always wear on the middle finger of your right hand. You are feverishly wondering what to do now. After he gets it every night you maybe should take it easy and talk to him. In the last few weeks he has made hints that you tell him your story but he gave you your time. You decide you can’t and get up. You just do the same things as always, you run away from this situation. You turn around but befire you can leave a strong had grabs your wrist.

“Please, I’m seriously worried about you. You’re still the girl from then, but something has changed. That sadness in your look, your behavior when I ask you something about your old life...something must have happened. I will not force you to talk to me, but I have told you several times that I’m here for you, it’s not good if you don’t talk to anyone. These feelings will destroy you at some point” he says and you feel that he is standing behind you. You close your eyes, don’t want to think about it.

He gently turns you around, lifts your chin and asks you softly “Look at me” and you shake your head. “Come on, please open your eyes” he says and you reluctantly comply with his request. You stare  into his green eyes and see the slight pain in them. But you also see something elese that you can’t assign.