𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙛 𝙔𝙤𝙪 || 𝙌𝙪𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙊𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨

[19] ᴛᴏxɪᴄ - ᴘᴀʀᴛ 2

Note: You guys loved part one so much I started crying when I woke up to all that support omg- so, per request, a part two for you <3 hope you enjoy!

"Are you fucking kidding me, Alex..."

*****

It's been six months since I last spoke to him. Six months since I sat on that stairwell, bawling my eyes out. Six months since I had almost kissed Alex on his bed.

I'd like to say I haven't talked to him in all that time, but I'd be lying. I still hang out with him, Karl, and Natalia from time to time, like normal. As much as I hated Alex for what he did and how he acted, I loved Natalia and Karl and our whole group dynamic... I didn't wanna be the one to ruin that.

I sat at my desk, just staring at my blank desktop. Next to it, on my desk, I had framed pictures staring back at me. One in particular of Alex and I really stung. It was taken when we first met in-person and he was giving me a piggyback ride as we both died of laughter in front of the Californian sunset and palm trees.

I couldn't bear to look at that picture. After what he did, I couldn't look at the boy I once loved the same anymore.

I planted the picture facedown, just as my phone let out a familiar chime. I answered the call to hear the sweet familiar voice of Karl.

"Hola, Karlos! How's it goin' Mamacita?"

"Hey, uh, Y/n? Can you, uh, meet me at that pier where you took us that one time?"

"Uh..."

"It's important."

~

"This is where we held hands for the first time,"

"BEFORE MARRIAGE?"

"Before marriage."

I laughed as I held onto Karl's arm. We were on the pier where he had first told me he liked me and asked me out. We brought Alex with us to watch the sunset, look for dolphins, and stargaze.

Yeah, that seems a little weird, but we were purposely letting him third-wheel because he was still reeling from his fresh breakup with Natalia. This one was for good.

He broke up with her about a month ago, for reasons he wouldn't give up. She removed herself from our group and cut off almost all contact with the rest of us. Alex, meanwhile, has been staying in North Carolina with Karl and I while he coped. It's been hard trying to pick apart the reason why they broke, but he won't budge and tell us what exactly that reason is. But, even with his stubborn mule-ness, Karl still feels bad and has been letting him tag along on most of our dates.

I leaned on the wooden railing of the pier as Karl kneeled behind me, digging through the contents of our picnic basket, and Alex stood a few feet away from me, poking at the public telescope.

"Oh no... oh no no no..."

"What's wrong, man?"

"I forgot the battery-powered lantern on the kitchen counter- ugh stupid!"

He smacked himself on the forehead as he fixed everything back into the picnic basket and sprinted for the car keys. Alex had told him about a Family Dollar a few miles back and he was taking the last remaining minutes of light to go and buy a new lamp, at least for tonight. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek before rushing and driving away, leaving Alex and I alone for the first time in ten months.

I wanted to just pull my phone out and scroll through one of the random apps to avoid the possibility of conversation with him, but I also didn't want to miss the gorgeous sunset happening around me.

As I watched the sun turn into warm shades that resembled a burning fire's glow and tried not to pay attention to the fact that Alex had crept up to the wooden railing and was a single foot away from me. I could feel his eyes on me as I focused mine on the sunset.

"Beautiful view..."

"Yeah, it's great-"

"Y/n, I'm still in love with you."

What?

"What?"

The young man stared at me with those deep brown eyes, welling up with tears that reflected the golden colors of the sunset. His body was fully turned towards me and he came closer to me, only a few inches away, as his hand still rested on the pier edge. I glanced at it to see his middle finger barely grazing the skin on my hand. I waited to see if he was just messing with me.

He wasn't.

"Y/n, I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Ever since I first heard your voice and your laugh on our first Discord call. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can barely breathe without you being stuck in my head. This whole Natalia thing was just a distraction from how I felt about you... And then you started dating Karl and I couldn't- I couldn't take it anymore! I couldn't fake with Natalia and I can't fake it with you anymore... Please, tell me you feel the same..."

The desperation in his eyes and pleading in his voice... his confession... it was all I had ever wanted... but I wasn't happy... I was... well... pissed.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Alex..."

His eyes went from pleading to nervous and I was ready to unload everything onto him. Let him know just how badly he hurt me.

"Of course I felt the same for you, Alex... I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't even breathe without you being stuck in my head... I lived every single day to see your damn smile and hear your damn laugh... My entire existence relied on how I was in love with you... But you chose her..."

"I-"

"But, not only did you choose her, you kept choosing her... Every. Single. Fucking. Time. And I STILL gave you a chance... And you took that chance - along with my heart - and just threw it in the trash. Now, you've - what? - been in love with me this whole time?"

He nodded slowly as I felt the hot tears start stinging my eyes.

"That's bullshit. All of a sudden, now that I've moved on, now that I'm happy and found someone new; someone who would never even DREAM of doing what you did to me, EVER... That's when you thought it would be a good idea to 'confess your love for me?'"

I looked his sulking figure up and down, the tears that had been welling up in his eyes now slowly cascading down his broken face. But the sight only made the mist in my eyes dry up.

"You're not the man I fell in love with all that time ago... You're not the best friend that was more than family to me... I hate you..."

Just let go.

"And I never wanna see you again."

I started walking off the pier when I felt a hand grip my wrist with terrifying force.

In an instant, I felt myself swing and a slap echoed through the darkened violet sky. The boy in the beanie fell back, letting go of my wrist to place it on his stinging cheek. I stood back as he rubbed the burning spot.

"I... I deserved that..."

"HELL YEAH YOU DID! I'M DONE GIVING YOU SECOND CHANCES, ALEX!"

"Y/N, PLEASE!"

~

I lay there in my bed, wrapped in all the blankets possible. In one hand, I used a pillow to smother my sobs, and with the other, I scrolled through my phone, deleting all the pictures and conversations with Alex.

Finally, I landed on my contacts app, his contact glaring at me right in the face. I scrolled down to the bright red letters and quickly tapped it before setting my phone facedown on my bedside table. I fully buried my face into my pillow and allowed myself to completely let it all out.

That night, I cried the last tears I ever would for Alexis.