Shine
It’s dark outside, Ali is sitting on the window, staring into the sky, where the stars shine. She wants to go home, but she can’t, because -A is still after her and she isn’t sure what scares her more, that -A is after her or that -A is also targeting her friends, especially Emily and that’s what scares her most, because Emily is basically the only good thing that has ever happened to her and she couldn’t stand it if anything would happen to Emily, just because she wasn’t the best person, Emily shouldn’t be the one suffering, she should, because she put Emily trough so much.
And she didn’t deserved to be treated so badly, but Alison couldn’t help it, because she was afraid of her feelings, but Em not once left her side, even if she broke her heart over and over again, Emily stayed and now? Now she and the other girls were in danger too, Alison could never forgive herself if anything would happen to her, Emily was the only thing that kept her going, because she wanted to see the brown haired girl again, she wanted to make things right and maybe they could have a chance together, if Emily still wanted her and if she could ever leave -A behind.
Sometimes Alison was dreaming about it, about a life without -A, in her dreams she always ended up with Emily and she couldn’t imagine a life without her now, yet she had to stay away from her, it was to dangerous and she knew that Emily was broken, because she still didn’t knew that Alison was alive, but maybe it was for her best, because knowing that she was still alive would be a whole new level of dangerous and Alison knew that Emily would do anything to go with her, at least the old Emily would do this, she didn’t knew if Emily still was the same girl she was before her disappearance, probably not, CeCe told her that Emily seemed more confident now and Alison was really proud that Emily was following her dreams now, but it also made her wonder, if Emily would still give her a chance, if she knew about her feelings, even after all the times that she had hurt her.
Alison slowly felt how her eyes began to shut and she drifted away, into a new dream about Emily…
"Ali, can we talk?" Alison looked up from her homework and was met by Emily’s beautiful brown eyes, she looked nervous and uncertain, so Ali nodded, she really wanted to know what this was about. "Sure, what’s up?" Emily was biting her lip and looked down at the floor and suddenly Alison was nervous too. "I just wanted to know if maybe you wanted to go and watch a film tonight, you know, just the two of us?" Emily asked quietly and Alison smiled at her "You mean, like a date?" Emily stared at her with wide eyes, she looked scared and Alison regretted what she had just said, because maybe Emily had just meant it in a friendly way. "No, I mean…" Emily looked helpless and Alison took her hand "Em, it’s ok, I want to go, okay? If you don’t want it to be a date, it isn’t a date, but if you want it to be a date, I’m okay with that too." Emily smiled and asked "Really?" Alison smiled back at her and nodded, before taking her hand in her own. "When do you want to go?"
Alison was ripped apart from her dream when a loud thunder rumbled outside and she leaned her forehead against the window, she was frustrated, she wanted to sleep again, wanted to go back into her dreamworld where she could be with Emily, sweet Emily, her light in this darkness.
She really wanted to see Emily right now, but she couldn’t, because outside there was a storm, the rain was running down the window, lightnings were the only sources of light right now and the forest was dark when there wasn’t any lightning, it was slightly terrifying, Alison wasn’t scared often, but storms always were a touchy subject in her life. She would’ve done everything to be in Emily’s arms right now, but she messed up, even if she were at home now, Emily probably wouldn’t want her in this way anymore, too much had she hurt her, pushed her away over and over again, but a girl can dream, right?
It was a stupid idea to think she could handle -A on her own, she should’ve told someone when she still had the chance to, now she was here and couldn’t go back, even if it was the only thing she wanted to do, she wanted to make things right, with everyone, but mostly with Emily, because she knew that she had hurt her the most.
Suddenly there was a noise outside and Alison slowly crawled away from the window, she was scared as hell, what if -A had found her? She reached after the first object she could find, luckily it was the kitchen knife she had laid down at the table earlier. She crawled behind the door, ready to attack the person who would come in.
The door opened slowly and she wanted to stab the person, when the person stood still. “Hello, is anyone in here?” She froze and the knife fell out of her hand, the person whirling around and staring at her with wide eyes. “Alison?!” “Em…” Alison had tears in her eyes, she couldn’t believe that Emily was here with her. “What… How… You… You’re alive.” Emily stuttered and Alison pulled her into a hug. “I’m so sorry Em, about everything, I… I got scared and I pushed you away and then the whole -A thing, I, I had to run, I’m so sorry.” Emily just stared at her disbelievingly, before she tried to speak “Shh, it’s alright, I’m here now, don’t be scared, everything is going to be okay.”
She held Emily tight, she never wanted to let go of her again, but the brunette pulled away after a few minutes, sitting down on a chair. “You said that you’re sorry and that you were scared, scared about what, Ali?” Emily looked into her eyes and Alison looked back, she had to do this now. “About my feelings.” “What, I don’t think that I understand, about which feelings?” Emily asks and Alison sighs, before she speaks again. “About my feelings for you?” Now Emily looks shocked and Alison can’t say that she’s surprised about this, because she had always made clear, that she hasn’t feelings for Emily in this way. “But… I thought… Why haven’t you told me, I would’ve never turned you down, there was no reason to be afraid, Ali.” She looks desperate, because they could’ve been together all along and Alison understands her frustration, she herself is frustrated that she couldn’t admit it earlier. “I wasn’t afraid about your reaction, I was afraid of what other people would think, I’m so sorry Em.”
She started crying and Emily hugged her again. “Don’t be sorry, at least you told me now.” Alison looks at her and leans closer, until their lips nearly touched.
A loud thunder rips Alison away from her dream again and frustrated she slams her fist against the wall, because all she wants is to sleep all day long and dream about Emily and it’s really frustrating to know that she isn’t able to be with Emily, bit it also gives her strength to go trough this hard time, because she wants to see Emily again and this time she’s gonna fight for her, because Emily is the light in her life.
