four

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i hold my arm when i talk. 

a sign of innocence, i guess, because im not sure what im saying. 

im nervous.

scared. 

my hands.

i dont know what to do with my hands.

what do i do with them?

where do i put them?

i dont know what to do with my hands.

i clench my leg with one, fold the other over to hold the clenching one. 

i rub up and down, trying to comfort myself as much as i can.

i am weak.

i have to keep myself together. 

im scared.

i try to hold myself up…

and then you ask what i am doing.

i fall into pieces. 

you scare me.

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