𝙳𝙸𝙴𝚃 𝙳𝙸𝙰𝚁𝚈 ( 𝙺𝙿𝙾𝙿, 𝙻𝙸𝙵𝙴𝚂𝚃𝚈𝙻𝙴 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴)

Starting over.

HELLO WELCOME BACK MY LOVES!!! IM BACK

It seems like it's been years since I wrote in this. I would like to go over some things that had to happen these past two years. These will go into parts and this might be a longer chapter than the others.

TW: EAT!NG DISORDERs, RELAPSE so please if you are sensitive to these topics please skip the ones that have the TW in the beginning.

TW; The beginning: In 2018 I got diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa if you guys don't know it's an eating disorder that has two spectra. One is that you don't eat and over-exercise or You will eat little but throw it up (this isn't bulimia). I like to address that I had the one that I didn't eat at all and overexercise.

The start of the Kpop Diet Diary; I started this in 2018 I believe that was my first post. Keep in mind I was in the mentality of anorexia and didn't realize what was going on with me. This was around August and school was starting. I did get into therapy since my parents saw there was something wrong with me. I did start this as an experiment for school since it was about nutrition. We had the choice to do a lot of things for this project but I chose this which later turned out it wasn't a great idea. When my project was over I didn't know what to do since this was the only reason why I could restrict.

The diets I did: I did the Jimin diet, 10-day challenge, Shantokki diet, and I was going to do the IU diet but I didn't have time.

TW; Weight/ measurements: My weight was 140lbs which many won't consider to be anorexia, but I did restrict myself and lost a lot of weight in a span of weeks. Which people saw alarming. Right now I have gained more weight and that hurts to say. I will share my weight in the upcoming chapter (another diet). I no longer want to be in the 100lbs range, I would like to be 110-120 which is ideal for my body.

TW; The relapse: I did indeed relapse during 2020 since the whole pandemic thing. Like I said I gained weight from being 140lb to 177lbs almost 20 pounds. I do admit I cried the time I found out. I hated myself for what I did. I still do. so I started to have thoughts of restricting myself and exercising more. In June of 2020, I overtook my anti-depressants one day and was hospitalized. that was my final point, and started to realize what happened. that is when I put out that I would stop dieting until I get better.

TW; Now: am now currently counting my calories, monitoring my weight, seeing what I eat. Instead of doing diet chapters, I will be showing what I eat in a day. I'm going, to be honest, it is not easy doing this. it is very hard but this is my coping mechanism. Last year in November I asked if I should make a youtube channel since it will be easier for me to do and edit and for you guys to watch. please vote on which I should do(by commenting). if you want to be to do both I can.

Thank you for reading this and staying here with me all this time.

PLEASE COMMENT IN WHICH ONE YOU WILL LIKE

Make a youtube channel and record everything there (if you pick this one give me some username ideas)

or

stick with Wattpad and keep doing these