I have a lot of conflicting feelin's, as a lot of people do. I want to be rich when I hear a song about nice watches, but then I also feel like money is just a construct and it's ruining everyone's mentalities. I want to be super healthy and in shape, but then I tell myself that working out every day is a waste of time and I should be out "living". I want to be totally independent and not rely on anyone else, I want to be able to cut people off as soon as they wrong me and not feel a thing, but then I realize I have to be understanding as a person, and everyone makes mistakes. And, more importantly, I am deathly afraid of being alone.
I think maybe "growing up" is picking the better of your conflictions and dealing with them accordingly. Some adults seem so fucking stupid to me that I wonder if "growing up" really exists. A lot of them just seem like tired, overgrown children, throwing fits at the grocery store. just over coupons instead of candy. The whole idea of adulthood scares me as well, because it seems like one big plateau, or worse, a hard fall down some steep ass stairs. And then, because I'm scared of being an adult, I feel like I should be valuing my teenage years more, which is a whole other conundrum within itself. It's the big one.
What the fuck should I do?
Honestly, I'm so confused as to what the fuck my teenage years are supposed to look like, because everyone is shouting different answers at me. Should I get pregnant or learn Mandarin Chinese? Go skinny dipping or join band? Cocaine or college prep? I have no fucking idea whatsoever, but, of course I'm leaning towards hard drugs (who doesn't love a good ol methamphetamine rush?)
Another conundrum is this blog itself, I feel like it's a drag to read things if they aren't funny, and if I'm typing something unfunny, then I'm the dragger. But, I feel like there's maybe something laughable in the back of my head somewhere, and maybe if me and you can get through all this "questioning life and all of my morals" bullshit we can access it.
Or maybe that's all my writing will ever be.
Complete
Fucking
Bullshit.
;)
YOU ARE READING
overly aggressive ramblings ;)
RandomThis is the honest type of bullshit. It's basically going to be an overly dramatic string of crude thought. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't, that's your choice, motherfucker.
