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Story part II

This was wrote on last year.

I still remembered a year ago (2019)  i was cheated by someone who i would never thought he is. At that moment, i keep telling myself " why me why me why me " and i keep blaming myself for trusting people easily. I was so broken  and i was so down, and the worst part is he act like he is the one in pain but hey, look at him ) he getback with his ex and i was trapped in that memories alone. I cried everyday, everyone blaming me for what I'm doing to him. I tried to be strong and i tried so hard to forget all that bs but it still remains in my mind. He showed me so much efforts to make me falling in love with him. Yes. He made it.  I lose. I gave all my heart to him.  But after that, he left me. Nope. I left him because he was lying to me. I cursed him because i was so angry.

I said " cinta dia murah "

" takde maruah"

And i blocked him in all my social media. In this story, I'm the one yang nampak jahat.  Yes. I'm evil. I'm heartless. I admit it. At least I acknowledged my fault. Kan? And Suddenly, his friend blaming me and  said " orang dah confess, buat apa reject? Terima jelah "

Some of you might think it's very easy to accept people by just their words. But for me, accepting is not that easy. We learn and make research more and more to find prove so that we will never regret someday. Love isn't just by words. It need actions too. So I reject him. I cursed him. But I'm the one who apologized first. I said " sorry " for cursing him like takde maruah and so on. And he tried to explain. But I refuse. Because I think once a cheater always a cheater.

After that incident, my mental health was at its lowest point. I feel useless. I cried in everything I do.

We used to be a classmates. Me and him in one class. Not really a classmate actually but ada satu masatu my class and his class kene combine. I don't know how to face him after all this while and at that time I didn't tell my friend about this because I think that's not an important thing to story about. I think I can accepted all the things that happened to me. But I am wrong. I can't forget everything. Pendam make me worse even more.   So I tried to talk to my friend. They are all said " bende dah lepas jangan ingat lagi" easy betul eh hahah.

He is a head prefect. That's why I would never think that he is a cheater. But we can never judge someone in luaran. He keeps saying sorry to me. But sis, it's lumrah. We can forgive but we can't forget. I'm a prefect and there is one time that I have to bertugas dengan dia. At that time, he act like nothing happened and so I do the same. I pretended like nothing happened between us. Then after I dah habis bertugas I terus cepat2 nak balik kelas sbb malas nak lama2. Then he tegur me.

"Nak pergi mana? "

But his eyes was looking around not looking at me
so I thought he asked someone else.

So I just diam je. I let my friend yang jawab.

And then suddenly he asked me to spot check this one chinese girl. I just buat apa yang dia suruh without compromise. Dahtu kau nak lawan ketua pengawas ke? Hahaha. Joke. Malas nak bantah Sebab I don't wanna talk to him so I just do what he said without saying anything. Ok I think setakat tu je kot part tu yang I boleh cerita.The rest is just history and tak penting untuk di ceritakan.

One fine day, he  thought that I have someone special in my life and suddenly he said

" kita buat haluan masing2 " .

I was so blur like why so sudden cakap macam tu? But I tried to ignore it. I followed what he wants. I tried to continued my life macam biasa. But the pain still hurt me so much. Less than a month, i dapat tahu yang dia getback with his ex. Wow hahaha. I was not myself masatu. I banyak termenung. Whenever i looked at him i would feel sad for no reason.Tell me stupid but that's how i feel. And I wondered how can someone still flirting with another girl after they hurt someone? How???i mean— nvm. I tried so hard to be happy but i cant. Till then i sedar yang  sampai bila nak sedih? Sampai bila nak hidup dengan masa lalu?So i decided to let myself heal. I tried to not care about him. I cuba lupakan semuanya. And yey. I did it. I managed to move on from him. Yes congratulation to me hahah. I had a strong support system such as my family and friends. I can finally let it go. Thanks to them. They motivated me whenever i feel like i was devastated by the things around me.And alhamdulilah, i am fully recovery now :)

But—

Hey.

That's not i want to tell you.

I shared this for a reason not for fun. It doesn't mean that I'm still can't move on from him. But—

I just want you to take the value from my story.Take what we can learn from it and grow. Let yourself heal. Let the pain remind you hearts can heal. Let the past stay in the past and never look back. Remember,we are too precious to be hurt.And the most important is love yourself first then you can love others. ok?