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Story part III

I wanted to share this story.

It's a hurt story but,

Maybe—

You can take it as lesson...;)

So I have a group of besties when I was in high school. I have 4 members in that group. We were so close. We started being close masa form 4. Kitaorang start sekelas and semeja masa form 4. And we  never thought that we will became best friends. Never. 

And I do have another best friend. Tapi yang ni kelas lain. Her name is nia ( bukan nama sebenar). Kalau ikut kan aku rapat dengan nia ni dulu baru aku rapat dengan group aku masa form 4 tu. Tapi itula, bila ada ramai kawan baik ni, banyak hati kena jaga. Tak boleh lebihkan nia sangat or tak boleh lebihkan my group tu. Kene balance.

I love all my best friends. I love my group. So much. Really. And I will always hope that our group was forever.

But seems like—

Our group is not forever.

I remembered that day when I was 17 ada penceramah datang sekolah sebab nak bagi ceramah pasal Spm.

And suddenly that penceramah said to all students " pergi dekat kawan korang, peluk dorang cakap I love you kat dorang," I quiet for awhile.

I'm stuck to choose nia or my group.

And—

Hey.

I chose my group.

Because we've been going through a lot together.

Masa penceramah tu suruh cari kawan baik tu, kitaorg duduk asing2. We're separated. But after dengar penceramah tu suruh cari kawan baik tu, kitaorang terus kumpul sama2 and we hugged each other.

After habis Spm, I did the biggest mistake ever. Biggest mistake ever.

We promised to each other that we will never cut or break our friendship even after dah habis Spm.

But—

I did it.

I cut them. For a while. But I didn't cut nia. I cut most people in my life including them.

I tukar no baru. But I didn't tell them. I switched off all my social media. Because I want my time alone.

But I didnt cut nia. You know what I meant. I give my new number to nia. But I tak bagi kat my group 4 orang tu. Kenapa? I don't even know why. Maybe Sebab aku rasa aku nak cut semua orang tapi at the same time I need someone to comfort me. And I chose nia.

I know. It was the biggest mistake. Ever.

I know.

I chose nia over them.

I know I'm selfish.

I know.

And I come back to them during my birthday because I want to fix everything. I on my social media balik especially instagram. During my birthday. Yes haha my birthday.

Kenapa my birthday? Because I think it could be  happy day in my life. But—

I'm wrong. It was a bad day in my life. Really bad day.

It was supposed to be a happy day. But it turned out to be sad day.

I waited for them to wish me a ' happy birthday ' but they didn't say anything. They just quiet and saw my story without saying anything.