scars

03

"Do you cut?"

Those where the first words he ever said to me.

It was a whisper, but I heard it come out of his mouth.

My hands came down to my wrists.

Guarding the only thing that reminded me of my mistakes.

"No." I lie.

"Don't lie, I saw your scars" his voice calm.

He still won't look at me.

He thinks he's seen my scars.

but not all of them.

I closed my eyes and held my wrists out.

He lifted the sleeves of my sweatshirt. Pushed them all the way up to my elbows.

He opened his eyes and stared,

He stared at my tally marks.

Or that's what I call them.

Tally marks that counted all the mistakes I've made in life.

"You couldn't understand even if you tried because you don't know what it's like to cut and starve and hate every inch of your body." I cried.

He gently placed his hand on top of mine, surprising me when tears started to fall out of h i s eyes.

He hid it real well.

You couldn't tell unless you where this close to him.

He doesn't even know me.

And still he makes me feel better than anybody in my life ever has.