Peas in a pod (Youtuber fanfic)

Panic attacks and anxiety

"Oh my god, I totally forgot about Connor. As soon as I'm happy again I go ahead and ruin everything,"
I'm rambling again.
I'm sitting on the couch with sam, he's trying to calm me down, but I'm shaking and I can feel a panic attacking coming.
I have constantly been getting panic attacks and anxiety since I started high school.
I was bullied a lot and I was called names and constantly put down about extremely stupid things.
Panic attacks are so scary that I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. I don't really have enemy's but I still wouldn't wish it on anybody, they are that scary and terrifying.
My vision is going blurry and I'm shaking uncontrollably.
I feel my palms sweating and becoming clammy. All of a sudden I Am extremely claustrophobic. I crawl off the couch and try to get away from Sam, but he won't let me go anywhere.
"I need to be alone! Now!" I shout.
My body goes numb and my black splotches fill my vision.
"Jess!" I hear Sam yell. As my vision goes entirely and my body goes slack I am dimly aware of Sam supporting my body in his arms. Then everything vanishes into a world of black.
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I wake up in my bed with Sam sitting beside me. It's dark outside so I must have been out for a bit.
"Jess! I didn't know what to do with you once you blacked out. I was so worried and then Trevor came home and helped me bring you up here." Sam told me.
he leaned down and kissed me, it wasn't slow and passionate this time, it was rough and hungry, I pushed him away.
"Sam, I'm sorry. I messed up. You hated me, now Connor hates me and I'm pretty sure everyone else in this house hates me because I hurt you then Connor.
I can't do this anymore. I don't think I can live here anymore.
I love you, and that will never change, you have been my best friend since forever and I can't thank you enough for always being there, but I always mess everything up.
And I have done a lot of thinking and I'm going to move to London because I need a fresh start. I'm sorry." I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.
"No! Jess, I'm sorry, we can work this out. Nobody hates you. Please don't leave.
Connor wouldn't want you to leave. Please stay, please." He pleaded.
"I'm sorry, I have already made up my mind. My plane leaves tomorrow." I told him. Not bothering to wipe my tears away.
We lay holding each other until we fell asleep.
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Hey it's your author Jess here.
Okay so I haven't updated in a while so I have decided to write a whole heap of chapters all weekend and,post them on Monday when I am back at school.
Soooooo
Comment, vote and tell me what you think of my book so far because I feel like only two people want me to continue writing my book.

Anyhow byeeee
Stay cloudy☁️☁️
Stay beautiful💃💃
Stay you!🙇🙇