You Are The Music In Me

Chapter 12

Julie knew she should answer her phone, or at least text Carrie and Flynn but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was lying in bed, watching the sun peak through her curtains. She wasn't sure if she had slept at all, but it was already the next morning. She sighed as she saw Flynn calling once again. Julie knew she should pick up, otherwise Flynn would end up just coming to her house before school.

Almost as if she had summoned her, Julie's door swung open. Except instead of Flynn, she saw her dad.

"Mija? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah Papi, just cramps." Julie loved her dad dearly, but she always wanted to be alone, and saying anything to do with her shark week usually got him to leave pretty quickly. Ray sat beside her and held her hand.

"Julie... Flynn called me and told me you haven't been answering your phone. And judging by the way that Luke has been sitting in the hall staring at your door, I'm thinking you might want to try a different answer."

"I... I don't know. But I really don't feel well. Can I stay home today?" Julie couldn't look at her dad. She knew if she did, she would start crying.

Ray didn't know what to do. He felt so helpless in this moment and wished he had the power to fix whatever was broken. He had seen this Julie before, shortly after Rose had passed away. Except this time she wasn't even talking to Flynn. His heart was breaking – his little girl had just come back to him and now she was slipping away again.

"Of course. I love you sweetheart." Ray glanced at his watch. "I need to get ready for work, but I'll try to check in with you later. Try to get some sleep Mija. You've had a whirlwind past few days, maybe that will help?"

Julie couldn't help it. She threw her arms around her dad, weeping silently. "I love you Papi."

Ray kissed the top of her head, murmuring back "I love you too."

***

"If I find out you did something to her Luke... well... I don't know, but you brought her back last time. Please... just bring her back again."

"Sir, I would do anything for Julie. I'm not sure what to do, but I will be there when she's ready for me."

Ray looked over at Luke and knew that he meant it. Obviously Ray would always pick Julie and Carlos first, but these boys were working their way into his heart. He wanted to do something nice for them, to be the father it sounds like none of them had. He would figure out something special for each of them.

Reggie would be the easiest, and so while he drove to work, he tried to think of what would be special for the other two.

***

Luke wanted nothing more than to be with Julie right now. But since she wouldn't let him, sitting in the hallway was the best alternative. And that had been his plan till Alex said it was time for them to go to work. Reggie had apparently already headed to the shelter, seeming more excited than normal.

Before they left, Luke slipped a note under Julie's door. He wasn't sure when she would read it, but he wanted her to know she wasn't alone in whatever she was going through.

Luke and Alex walked silently down the sidewalk, both caught up in their thoughts, but not wanting to burden the other. They reached the café first, and said their goodbyes. Alex had a short shift due to the fact that he was only doing training today, so they agreed Alex would pick up Reggie after work and come check on Luke. Hopefully all three would still be employed by then.

***

Ray had a bit of a bad habit... once he got an idea in his mind, it took root. So while he was meant to be focusing on work, his mind was thinking about the boys. He had now figured out what to get for Luke, but Alex... he was a mystery. Reggie and Luke were more open and interested in spending time with Ray, but Alex had been reserved.

Based off of his initial introduction to the boys, as well as what Julie had told him privately, Ray knew Alex could be sensitive about his sexuality. Or rather concerned about how others would react. But what kind of a gift did you give for that? What could erase years of anxiety? Normally, Ray would have asked Julie what she thought, but now didn't seem like the right time, and he could tell that work wouldn't be his priority until he had figured this out.

***

As promised, Ray called Julie later in the afternoon. They didn't speak for long, but Julie got the impression her dad was planning something special. All Julie wanted to do was lie under her covers, preferably with several pillows, a good rom-com that she didn't have to pay a lot of attention to, and maybe a pan of warm brownies. That was her plan. It was a good one. But what's that saying about best laid plans? As Julie was taking the brownies out of the oven, her front door opened, and Flynn marched straight up to Julie.

"So I am not going to do my seven sodas spiel again – but like hello that's a good tongue twister – but girl you better start talking about what's going on."

"Hello to you too Flynn." Julie deadpanned.

"Jules, I'm serious. What happened?" Flynn led Julie over to the couch where Julie immediately hugged one of the throw pillows.

Julie tucked a piece of hair behind her ear while the rest cascaded over her shoulders. Julie knew Flynn would call her out if she tried to lie, so there was no point.

"I'm honestly not really sure. One minute Luke and I were walking and he was holding my hand, and then he did that thumb rubbing thing and it all just felt so... perfect."

"Okay I'm confused. How did it go from that to you having a pity party here in your pyjamas?"

"It's not a pity party! It's a mental health day. Remember how my mom would let me stay home, unless we had a test or something, when I couldn't pretend to put on a happy face? She got that it wasn't just being physically fine, but that being overly stressed or anxious or something could really mess with a person too."

Flynn smiled. Rose really was the best. She loved her parents, don't get her wrong, but the Molina house had always been a happy place to go to, and Julie's parents always treated her like another daughter.

"Okay okay! I surrender. Mental health day it is. But you avoided the question. How did we end up here?"

Again, Julie wasn't sure how to verbalize what had been going through her mind last night.

"I guess everything just sort of hit me at once. You know all the reasons why it wouldn't work with me and Luke and how I don't know, everything can feel like it's going good and then just BAM, gone the next minute."

"Aw Jules. I'm sorry." She cuddled up to her best friend. "But remember, we talked about this before? You thought you were losing the guys and the band, but that didn't happen. I can't pretend to know what is going to happen with you and Luke, but don't you feel like you're throwing away something that could be amazing just because you're scared?"

"Right, except this also means the reality of not growing old with him, or not having a family, or I don't know. There are practical things. He doesn't have a passport so how would we travel. Or get a marriage license?"

"Well first off, we're going to come back to the fact that you're thinking about marriage licenses. Did you like research or something to know what you need?" Julie ducked her head and blushed. She was not going to admit what she did or did not Google on her own time. "And it totally sucks to be you that your husband would always look hot. And there's always adoption. And girl would giving up your hottie eternal hubby be better than being able to travel? So what's your next roadblock? I'm ready to knock them all down."

"But shouldn't it be... I don't know? Simple? Why does it have to be so complicated? If it's meant to be than why is it so hard?"

"Jules, if it was simple, straight forward, and easy then there would be no Taylor Swift. Or romantic comedies, or you know, anything good in the world."

Julie smiled at Flynn. She always knew how to talk Julie out a bad spot. She grabbed Flynn's hand and dragged her upstairs.

"Jules what are we doing!?"

"You're helping me pick out something to wear when I go apologize to Luke!"

"Well can we at least bring the brownies too???"