hold me close, but not too close~newtmas

Chapter 9: Tempt You

Thomas couldn't sleep. His mind was a spinning plate; whirring non-stop, waiting for the plate to wobble and drop off.

But it didn't and Thomas knew it had no intention of stopping.

With a sigh, Thomas flung his feet out of bed and stood, shivering at the sudden drop in temperature. He wrapped his arms around himself and walked out of the cabin, careful not to disturb his friends. The door closed gently and he walked across the Safe Haven to the clinic.

Thomas knew Teresa would be awake; much like Thomas, she didn't tend to sleep. Sometimes, when he woke from a nightmare, she'd join him on the beach. They wouldn't talk, at least not in the way they used to, but her company was enough. It was easier to be with somebody rather than nobody, and if Teresa was the somebody, then that would have to do.

"I can't trust you and I can't forgive you, but I can be civil with you."

He could be civil with Teresa, that part wasn't hard. However, forgiveness wasn't in the cards, that was another story. Another lifetime and another person.

Slowly, so as not to disturb her, Thomas opened the clinic door. Teresa was slouched over a notepad, a hand on her forehead as she fought to concentrate. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and her cheeks were pale with fatigue.

"Hey," Thomas said. Teresa craned her neck to look at him, and Thomas noticed how exhausted she looked. "What are you doing still awake?"

"I could ask you the same question," she responded, a small smile on her face. "I'm working."

"Anything interesting?"

"Just the new group's vitals. They're healthy."

"Healthy enough to start working?"

"Yeah, but break them in easy."

Thomas breathed a laugh. "That reminds me," he said, "Bianca said she has a couple of people who used to be doctors. They can show you a few things, if you're interested."

"That would be great. We could always use an extra pair of hands." Her smile faltered suddenly. "Do they know about me? About what I did?"

"No, and I'm not going to tell them. I think that's up to you, Teresa."

Thomas sat on the edge of one of the hospital beds, and Teresa swivelled on her chair to face him.

"I don't want to lose this group, they could be good for us," Thomas said.

"So, you're advising me not to tell them?" Teresa asked.

"I'm telling you that I like them, that they're good people. That jeopardising their trust could end badly for us. We're unpredictable in their eyes, and they're unpredictable in our eyes."

"But you want them to stay?"

"Of course."

"Why?"

It was the same explanation every time; "because I can't keep losing people. I'm tired of fighting the inevitable. If I turned them away, who knows what would have happened? We have a chance to give them a full life, one that others can't have."

"You always find a way to circle back around to him." Teresa stood from the chair and sat herself next to Thomas instead. "Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like if he were still here."

"Teresa," Thomas said sadly, shaking his head. "I think that's the worst thing you could do."

"But it's my fault." Thomas met her piercing blue eyes. "There's a chance that, if I didn't betray you, he wouldn't have been exposed to the Flare."