Without You (Previously known as Summer Without You!)

Two: Sarah's List of Wonder

[ Two: Sarah's List of Wonder ]

 

When I was younger, I didn't have many friends. I don't really have any recollection of those years, just bits and pieces of faded memories. Needless to say, from what I do remember, I was very vulnerable and cried frequently. I was bullied a lot too. I think those experiences have made me become very quiet, in constant fear of rejection. I hold everything in, mourning in silence.

For this reason, as the bullying subsided, my social skills were not left intact. I still refrained from going out of my way to make friends. In fact, Sarah had lived next to me for two months before I decided to approach her. She just always had a constant bubble of happiness that surrounded her, and I needed that. It was freshman year, and she was new. She didn't know who I was, and had no reason to judge me.

I liked the idea of starting anew, having a clean slate. The sun poured its rays around her body as she used chalk to paint the sidewalk in beautiful hues of red and blue. I had ached to say hi to her, but my shyness got the best of me. My mother, watching me mope around, urged me to talk to her. She actually locked me out of the house. Begrudgingly, I walked up to her. "That's really pretty," I commented nonchalantly.

"Thanks!" she chirped, looking at me. "You want to sit down?" she asked, pointing to the grass. I looked at her, unsure.

"Are you sure I wouldn't be disturbing you?" I said, watching her careful strokes. She was drawing an owl.

She grinned up at me. "It's been fairly boring in this neighborhood. You are the most interesting thing to happen to me all day." She wrapped her hair in a bun. She looked at me again. "My name is Sarah."

That was two years and four haircuts before now. I learned everything about her, like the way she scrunches her eyebrows together when she is frustrated, or that the reason she cuts her hair so much was because she liked change.

The day she left, I watched her wave at me from behind the tinted windows of her mothers Prius. It was sad to see her leave, and I was blinking back tears. She, of course, was well composed and smiling. I envied her strength. Before she left, she handed me an envelope, and in pink glitter pen, she scrawled Sarah's List of Wonder. 

Whilst handing it to me, she looked me in the eye and said, "Do not, under any circumstances, open this until your birthday, Luce." She had narrowed her eyes then, as if read my mind. That was another thing that put a damper on my summer without her.  I had planned on reading it promptly after she drove away, but I held in my palm, unopened instead. My birthday was exactly one week from today, and I had forgotten.

I used to count down the days to my birthday, but now with all of the stress of school and then finding out that Sarah was leaving, my shit was out of order. I would be turning seventeen in seven days. It was a lot to process. As I watched Sarah's car fade into the distance, I walked numbly into my room, locking the door and staring at the ceiling. This was going to be a long summer.

A/N: I just edited this, which changed a lot. Anyway, I just found an amazing radio station on Spotify called Follow Your Bliss. Hope you guys enjoy! Please vote, comment, and follow me for more updates!