𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑀𝑎𝑙𝑓𝑜𝑦'𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 ~𝑆.𝑀. (Part 2)

chapter twelve

DRACO'S POV:
Days were passing by and all I could think about was Elle. no matter how much I hated Astoria, both of my parents wanted me to marry her. And I was married to her but it was one of the worst decisions i've ever made in my entire life.

Elle was a different girl and I know that I have seen her somewhere but I had no idea where and I had no idea why it felt like I knew her. It felt like I knew her from the heart.

I wanted to meet her again. I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to be there for her and actually be friends with her, at least for a little bit. I was actually confused and I tried my best to remember where I have seen her, but nothing came into my mind.

It was like a weird déjà vu feeling that I couldn't explain, it was hard to remember where I have seen her.

All I knew that I had to keep in touch with her, because I actually kind of liked her, and actually for real, because I literally hate Astoria and I think that everyone around me knows that.

My mum was not the one who wanted me to marry Astoria, but my dad tried to convince and apparently he did. My mum thinks that she is a good girl and that she deserves a guy like me, but I don't think so. She clearly was not my soulmate and I could clearly see that my father was wanted me to marry her just because she was a pureblood and he did not want to ruin this bloodline thing.

I hated how strict my so called father was for trying to keep the bloodline thing and how it 'should' be, but I was so mad at him for doing this to me. For making me marry a girl I don't even know and I had no idea who she was. He made me marry her the second day I saw her, so she was a complete stranger to me.

I mean yes, I did saw her in Hogwarts a few times but she was still a fucking stranger to me because I had no idea who she was, I had no idea what her personality was like and I had no idea if she was the one I actually liked and if I actually wanted to marry her.

Well I was right, I did not want to marry her. The fact that I had something missing in my life, I knew that I had someone before Hogwarts was destroyed, I knew I had someone who was pretty close to me, and I actually really fucking love that one person, that that one person was one of the most important people in my life and I had no idea who they are right now.

It felt like I actually obliviated myself, but for fucks sake, why would I ever do that? what happened to that person? Did they hurt me? Did I hurt them?

My whole life I was trying to be a good son to my father, a death eater, or at least I thought that I was. Now every single death eater where in Azkaban, except me, my father and a few other people are running free in the wizzarding world and some of them are in the muggle world.

That's all I know about the death eaters and the Voldemort thing, no one knows anything else. All we know is that Voldemort does not exist in this world anymore and that he can't hurt any of us. He can't get back here, he can't touch us, he can't do anything.

Even if he is there, he's a ghost and we can't see him, and also he's harmless and worthless, well but who would say that he was worth anything when he was live too huh? He was a horrible person. He was worth nothing but the deepest hole in the earth where he would be burned alive.

Well I can agree that I was a fucking horrible person in Hogwarts to, but I really did not have much of a choice, I was forced to be the person I was before. I was literally just like my father, fucking disgusting, worthless, and a fucking coward but I tried to act tough.

I think that everyone in Hogwarts knew how hard my life was, but I tried to hide the pain by bullying other people that were literally not Worth any of my disgusting words and I completely regret that right now.

I never would have let let me bully others just because I was in fucking pain, I caused so much pain to others, I hurt everyone because I was fucking hurting and it hurts right now because I know that the people think that I'm a horrible person right now too.

I am really not a horrible person anymore, at least I'm trying to be a normal person who is not hurting everyone around me, I am trying to be a positive man, but it's really not working because the pain is not gone, I want it to be gone but it is just there, The pain never goes away even though I don't remember what happened to me after the war.

All I know that deep in the heart I really miss someone from Hogwarts and I really need someone from there but I have no fucking clue who it is and it hurts my heart even more. It hurts that I can't help anyone because everyone thinks that I'm still a fucking horrible person which I am really not, I know it deep inside me.

I want to try to help people like me but I have no idea why because I can't even help myself, I have too many problems in my life, one of the biggest problems is Astoria.

I do you love Scorpius so fucking much because he's a little cute me, I am trying to be the best father I can be, I want him to have Life that I have never thought that I would have and I didn't.

I am really hoping that Scorpius is not talking about me in the same way I talked about my father when I was his age.

and if you all didn't know already, Lucius Malfoy was and is a horrible person. Even my own lovely mother knows it, but she is too scared to admit it and divorce him, because she knows that he will do something to both of us and my son.

I am trying to everything for my son, that he would be safe and that he could be there for everyone, that he wouldn't be that horrible person everyone hates in Hogwarts, I wanted him to be a completely different person, I wanted him to be lovely.

I can not wait for him to get married, I want to see him with the love of his life, kissing each other as both of them said 'yes'. I just can't wait for that moment. It makes me so happy to even think about it.

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hey loves! shortish chapter because i'm still struggling with my health, but i'm trying my best to updated when i can. i love you all and i hope that all of you are safe!
-Robe <3