HIT

13: touch me

After spying out the area for the kill, the Hawk had taken him to Busan main station to buy I love Busan caps and to exchange his big briefcase with a small metal briefcase from a locker. Jimin was fairly sure that it contained the handgun the man had spoken of, and whenever he got a glimpse at it, his stomach tensed and his throat constricted. If anything went wrong, this gun would be his death, he thought. But he had never gotten a glance inside, because Ahn had put it away in favor of calling whoever he was always calling. Probably one of the organization's people for daily report. So, after the Hawk had ripped the cable out of the hotel phone, Jimin had been left alone in the room while the other was talking in the hallway.

Being alone with nothing to do but lying around on the bed was making his thoughts run wild. He was thinking about the imminent murder that was about to happen tomorrow, imagining all kinds of scenarios how it could go wrong and end with him framed or him dead as well, and about them sharing the bed tonight and what could happen and how good it probably would be based on how the first time went. It left him panicked and aroused at the same time, so when the Hawk barged back into the room, he was grateful for the blanket that was covering the small bulge in his pants. This job was driving him nuts.

"We will leave in two hours," Ahn announced.

That made Jimin look up. "For what?" he asked confused. Was there more to do before the hit?

"To get the job done," the other answered and Jimin felt like someone had slapped him.

"What?" he blurted startled and sat up straight. Why had they checked into a hotel if they finished the hit tonight? Had something changed? Had the Hawk been informed by someone that his target had changed plans?

Ahn did not react to his question but sat down somewhere behind the screen that divided the sleeping area from something that resembled a business square and Jimin heard the newspaper rustling.

He felt off-balanced by the sudden change. So, he would not have to share the bed with the other after all. If the job was today, tonight the hitman would already be behind bars. Jimin's chance of survival had just increased drastically unless the Hawk decided that he should get rid of him before the kill. But he had not shown signs to do so. If Jimin was a burden, he could have disposed of him on the ride from Seoul to Busan. Throw him into the woods for the animals to eat. But he had not. For some unknown reason, he had not.

Overwhelmed with all the stuff that was going on, Jimin rolled back into a ball underneath the sheets. He wanted to think about it from start to now in order to find a reason why the Hawk had not ended him yet, but the change in position reminded him of the half-hard problem between his legs. It was distracting and the thought of getting off in the bathroom while the Hawk was on the other side of the door was not helping in calming it down.

Several dirty bathroom scenarios shot through Jimin's head. Unbidden, but so annoyingly enticing. He could have it now. It was easy. He would not have to walk into a gay bar and risk being found out by colleagues or friends, he just had to walk over there and sit in Ahn's lap asking him to make love to him again. What was sex anyway in the context of this mission? He had already murdered a man for his own good and had taken part in planning a murder, so what was sex compared to that? And it would be the last time anyway. Tonight, everything would be over and Jimin would return to his old life.

He only needed to walk over there. Just ten steps and he could have whatever he asked for. Because he knew Ahn would give him what he wanted. It was only ten steps to debauchery. Jimin sat up.

His heart was a jumbling mess in his chest and his breath came jittery, but he forced himself to several deep breaths and then pushed himself up and walked around the screen. Ahn was sitting on the couch with closed eyes, hands resting on the upholstery next to his thighs. He looked like he was meditating.