abience ◇ got7 | bambam

((03))

I was woken up by the sudden breeze that came. At first I figured the blanket had fallen on the floor while I slept so I tried tugging it back.

The task proved to be difficult and I opened my eyes to look at what the obstacle was. When I saw what it was, images of last night's events flashed in my mind.

The party, drinking, BamBam. No words made it to my mind, as if my brain was having trouble catching up with the situation. Except it was all real.

My eyes wandered up to his face, which was facing mine. He looked peaceful in his sleep. I was just staring at his face, my eyes drinking in his features. There was a pang in my chest as I realized this would be the only time I would ever wake up like this.

And then another feeling rose up in my chest.

Guilt.

We were friends. We weren't supposed to end up like this. This wasn't supposed to have happened.

I was careful not to disrupt the sleeping idol as I slid out of his grip. It was hard, his grip tightening for a second, but I managed not to wake him up.

Finding my clothes had been an almost difficult task as they were strewn all over the room. I didn't even want to remember how they ended up where they were. I was quick to put them on, not wanting to still be here when he wakes.

It was quiet when I left the room and I prayed silently that everyone was still asleep. The awkwardness and embarrassment I would feel for getting caught coming out of his room would kill me for sure.

I didn't bump into anyone on the way out, fortunately, but I still rushed to get to mine and Kasey's room.Kasey was probably passed out in the living room since the room was empty, which was a good thing I guess. There was no one to witness my walk of shame.

I spent maybe five minutes just pacing around the room. The situation was so unexpected and now I had no idea how I was supposed to react to it. Could I just go on like normal? I didn't think so. There was no way I could act the same around him now.

To be honest, it hadn't been my first time. It happened just a week before my mom and I came to Seoul two years ago. I was out late with some friends and were drinking and shit and one thing led to another. It wasn't awkward with the guy afterwards but that was probably because we both agreed that it meant nothing. We were platonic friends, no feelings involved, so it was easy to move on from it.

But this, this was BamBam. This was the guy I've liked and still like. Not that I've imagined it, but I had hoped it was under a better situation. Preferably a situation where we were both sober and he still liked me back. But he said he didn't have feelings for me anymore. It might be so easy for him now to just shrug off this incident whereas here I am, freaking out.

I tried taking deep breaths to calm down. It helped when I remembered that my iPod was here somewhere. When music started playing in my ears, I could feel myself getting better, not instantly but I was feeling more calm.

I was sitting on the bed and Linkin Park was playing from my iPod when the door swung open and Kasey came walking in. I couldn't hear what she was saying before she went over to her bed and buried her face into the sheets.

I chuckled, taking off one of the earbuds. "Hangover?" I questioned, earning a groan in response. "I warned you, didn't I?"

Another groan and I decided not to bother her anymore. Honestly, I was glad she had come into the room. At least her presence had managed to help take my mind off of BamBam.

I don't know how long we stayed in the room but I was starving. I was pretty sure it was almost noon but Kasey was still out cold.

All Time Low's Kids in the Dark was playing when the door swung open. I made a mental note to lock the door next time.