Big girls don't cry (Aleida series #1)

36. Not understanding

Kian POV

That's it! I don't know how to deal with Aleida and her mood anymore. She calls us in for a meeting in her office, and let me tell you, her thoughts aren't rational. Aleida is pushing for us to help everyone in the city, which we can't do.

There are too many wolves to protect, and I can't picture giving my life for a few other than my pack. We've lost many over the years, especially during the time our father lived. He was a controlling, manipulative, and aggressive person.

Dad's mindset was that we should attack before anyone else could attack us, which isn't stupid in itself. But attacking innocent packs with which we've no conflicts is just unnecessary. It would be okay if it's a pack planning to attack us, but that wasn't the case.

Larry Vidovic was a heartless alpha; he believed in controlling not only ours but also all the packs in the city with an iron fist, force, and bending them to his will.

Neither Miliano or I have at any point thought that it's the right way to control a pack. Despite that, I'm beginning to see more and more of our father in ourselves; it scares me. I don't want to seem or be like our father was.

At the moment, however, it seems that I have no choice. Our father's conservative caveman complex appear when I sit in the armchair opposite my beautiful goddess inside her office. She's so angry when we walk away that I can see her veins pulsating with anger.

Now that it's been a couple of hours, I can see why; we're acting like pigs to her. We refuse to listen to her thoughts, opinions, and suggestions, which is a significant setback for us. She isn't only our luna but also our mate; it's our job to listen to her and at least try to understand.

Instead, we wave away what she says as if her thoughts contain no value, and for that, I now sit in my own office and am ashamed for; I need to talk to her! I get up from my chair and begin the search for my irritated mate.

All the rooms I look in are empty, except the dining room, where many of our pack members sit and eat lunch. But no, Aleida, which surprise me since she loves food. I also ask the others if they've seen her, which they haven't. No one's seen her anywhere, where is she?

The turmoil spreads like a virus inside my body. In the end, I have no choice but to look up my infuriating little brother to ask him if he's seen her. Miliano sits at the back of the packhouse with a book in his hand. He looks up at me suspiciously when he sees me; I can't say I blame him; we almost don't talk to each other at all unless our shared mate is nearby.

"What is it?" he asks me.

"Have you seen Aleida?" I ask; he frowns and thinks; I eagerly await his response, and my concern doesn't make it easy to wait.

"No, I'm sorry. The last time I saw Aleida was in her office when she asked us to fuck off," he answers after a while with a shrug.

"She didn't ask us to fuck off," I sigh.

"No, not with those words, maybe. But the meaning behind it is the same. Why do you ask?"

"I need to talk to her. We made her feel insignificant, and we undermined her position not only in our pack but also in our hearts," I reply; Miliano looks shamelessly at me with a nod; he, just as I can't understand how we can use that kind of behavior towards her, and now it can be too late.

"Have you talked to the other members?"

"Yes, no one has seen her. Not even Michael and he are almost the glue to her hip. He never leaves her side, except when we're with her."