Big girls don't cry (Aleida series #1)

41. Death by psycho

Aleida POV

I sit by the stream and stare out at nature around me. My past is slowly beginning to get back to me, and my choices I made haunt me; I've killed someone, someone's mate! Me! The anxiety and regret within me slowly eat into my conscience.

I've always been against hurting or killing someone else's mate because it doesn't just affect one person. Now that I chose to destroy not only someone's mate but also someone's luna, I know it'll cost me dearly.

My mates are thanks the goddess protected, because technically they aren't my mates anymore after I rejected them. It still hurts me; I don't just have one rejection; I carry the pain for all three of us. At least my pups are safe, and that's what matters.

They'll have so many good wolves around them that will defend them; I'll never have to worry that they have no one to turn to if I die. Jonathan is coming for me; I know he is. I killed his mate and destroyed his master plan. It'll probably cost me my life, which does nothing to me.

If that's what needs to happen, then it will. Who am I to go against the plans of the goddess? She has all our destinies predetermined, and the least I can do is accept mine. The question is, will my mates accept it? Oh, Kian and Miliano... I really miss them.

My highest desire is that everything will go back to how it was. But nothing is ever going to be how it was because things have changed; I've changed. I'm no longer the injured and afraid Aleida. No, I'm an alpha, and my job is to protect my pack until death do us part; it sounds like I'm married to them. I wonder if...

"Alpha?"

I turn around and see three boys standing before me. They can't be more than fourteen years old; they look entirely different-a redhead, a blonde, and a brunette. At least the trio seems to be good friends, considering that I always see them together since I brought them in.

"Yeah, what can I do for you?" I ask softly.

They all look really uncomfortable. As if I'm to swallow the boys whole if they so much as breathe in my direction. I smile at them. The blonde boy looks insecurely at me and scratches the back of his head. His light-blue eyes flicker, and he looks at anything but me.

"Are you going to get rid of us if we can't fight properly?" he asks with such a broken voice that I just want to hug all the pain away. Before these boys came to us, someone abused and hurt them. Young wolves are rarely this insecure for no reason, above all, not if they're males. They're three of the five rogues Michael knows who are prepared to follow us, and so far, they've done so without blame.

"Come, sit down," I tell them.

They hesitate at first, but when I again indicate that it's okay, they sit down beside me. Nobody says anything at first. The red-haired one is James, the brunette is Ashton, and the blonde is Hannes, they tell me when I ask.

"Okay, listen to me, all of you," I say, and they look at me again uncertainly. "No one will be thrown out just because they can't cope with some of what pack life contains. Everyone is good at something, and we'll together find out what you can do. Maybe one of you is good at fighting, another at searching, or none of it. Regardless, there's always a place for you here. You'll train in self-defense as soon as we arrive and things calm down. But never, and I really mean never, be afraid that I'll punish you for such a thing. I'm not just your alpha, I'm also your friend, and I want you to feel fine. Don't be afraid of me, because I won't hurt you. On the contrary, my job is to protect you."

"Really?" James asks, hope in his voice.

"Really," I answer, smiling at them.

We talk and laugh there for quite some time. The trio of boys tells me that they're not as young as I first thought; in fact, they're only a year younger than me. Hannes is in the middle of an anecdote about when he embarrassed himself at a party when we get interrupted by Luis.