Lotus and the Snake

All in Good Time

(TW: PTSD episode, sexual trauma, mentions of abuse)

(NSFW: Sex)

“Yusheng, I have a question for you,” Saalah asked from the comfort of their lap. The Immortal master sat with their legs folded on a sitting mat in their light robes with a book in hand. Saalah laid sprawled on his back on the floor, his head tucked comfortably on their lap. He had been napping lightly, enjoying the fingers that stroked through his hair idly and the sun that peeked in to warm his skin. Bai Yusheng even spoiled him and turned on the floor heater, despite it being a warm day. His thoughts had begun to wander, and there was something he found himself to be incredibly curious about. 

“What would that question be?” Bai Yusheng looked down at his relaxed face, his eyes still closed, making his thick lashes create a lovely feathery crescent on his dark cheeks. They stroked a finger over them and watched them flutter in response. 

“I was just curious, and you are free not to answer, this may be a topic you don’t want to discuss,” he began, his eyes opening to meet theirs, looking conflicted. “I just wanted to know…in your last relationship with…with Zhou Qiqiang…Uhm,” he cleared his throat, looking away and feeling heat rise to his cheeks as he cleared his throat. “Ah, how was it in bed…With you and him…” He didn’t dare look up at Bai Yusheng. They would either be smiling coyly or frowning in distress, and he didn’t know if he could handle either. 

    They blinked down at him, studying his expression before marking their page and setting their book aside for the moment. Gentle hands came down to caress his face, their thumb feathering over his lower lip. “Are you asking just out of curiosity? Or is there something more?” 

“It’s not really anything that deep, Yusheng,” he replied, picking at the sleeve of his robe a little nervously. “I just really wanted to know. We’ve never really discussed it, but between you and I, I have always been the one on the giving end, for obvious reasons, but I wondered if it was different between the two of you.” Bai Yusheng didn’t speak of their late lover much. The pain would always be there, deep in their heart, but they had made their peace with his passing long ago. White hair shrouded Saalah’s vision, and he looked up to see the immortal leaning over him, their hair sliding over their shoulders to fall around him like a curtain. 

“He and I, well,” they started, a fond smile on their lips, “well, we would both switch, but more often than not, I was the one who was the giving party. Does that answer your question?” They watched the blush creep to his ears and hummed happily. It was rare for Saalah to discuss such topics, but they had been together for a few years now. They had begun to grow comfortable in sharing what was on their mind, no matter how strange. Still, sex would always be something that patience would be required. They were pleased that he would voice his question, even if they found it a little odd. 

“Does it bother you that you are now on the receiving end all the time? Do you miss it?” Bai Yusheng felt a chuckle pass their lips, and they leaned down closer to kiss him softly on the forehead. 

“It doesn’t bother me at all. I am happy doing it however you wish. I was always content either way.” Their fingers massaged his temple, feeling him release some tension in a deep sigh.

“I was thinking that maybe we could try,” he looked up again, locking his gaze with theirs, “we could try letting you take me. I trust you, Yusheng. If it’s something you would want to do, then just know that I want to do it, too.” His heart warmed when they kissed his lips time, despite how awkward it was from this angle. 

“Alright. If you feel the time is right, just let me know.” 

    The conversation was left to simmer for a few weeks as both parties continued on with their normal day to day lives. It wasn’t until one cool evening, as they lay tangled together in bed, pressing hot fevered kisses to each other’s skin, that Saalah finally felt confident enough to broach the topic again.