you should know what you're falling for

seventeen

 I wake up with a heavy feeling in my chest. I don't feel refreshed and energized; I feel weighted and exhausted. I slept, but it was a restless sleep, including much tossing and turning. When I finally shrug myself out of bed, my stomach churns. It feels as I there's a rock in the pit of it.

 "Ugh." I moan and arch my back in a stretch.

Kendall stirs and pushes her Beauty-Sleep face mask off of her eyes, and shrugging the covers off of her body, "Good morning!" she blurbs, rubbing her eyes harshly and sitting up in her silk, pale pink pajamas. She extends her arms up into the air and yawns greatly.

"Morning." I grumble, straightening out my grey t-shirt and sighing.

Kendall slips out of her bed, "We need to make you look good for that guidance counselor meeting today."

I roll my eyes, chuckling. Only these rich Ridgeway girls would care about how they look when they're meeting with a shrink. Personally, I don't five a brown rat's ass.

Well, at least I act like I don't. I didn't used to. Now I just pretend; I'm afraid of change, and I prefer not to mix things up, for Alex's sake. I slide onto my feet, jamming my toes into my scraggly old bunny slippers. I got them from my mom's closet after she died and I love them.
They remind me of her. 

I can remember the mornings when I'd feel the warmth of her gentle touch of my back. My eyes would flutter open and the first thing I'd see would be those bunny slippers at the foot of my bed.

I snap out of my snare of nostalgia when Kendall begins irritatingly waving a piece of fabric in front of me. 

"You'll wear this one better than I'll ever be able to." She groans, placing it on my lap.

I laugh silently, just hard enough to give my shoulders a lurch, 

"Yeah, ookay." I say sarcastically, shaking my head in amusement. 

"Seriously!" she coaxes, shoving me into the bathroom and leaving me to change. 

I pluck listlessly at the shirt and leggings. No way will these look good on me. They're too revealing; to feminine. I set the cloth down on the porcelain counter with a soft thud and run my hands over my hips, the sound of my skin against the fabric is quiet and soothing. 

"Here goes nothing..." I mumble, not really caring. I slip on Kendall's clothes and turn to face the mirror. After tugging and plucking at it a bit, I take a good look at the girl in the mirror.
Is that Chloe James?

Holy crap, you would never have thought that I was the same girl I was two weeks ago. I like to feel beautiful, to my own surprise. I just wonder what other people will think of me.