pretend || tsukikage

Chapter 8

(fuck proofread, I will do it when I am in the right mental state)

3rd Person's POV

Kageyama suddenly woke up, sweating. He breath heavily trying to calm down himself. He looks around to see if the others awake, he sighs in relief when he sees no one is. Then he started to feel anxious, fidgeting his fingers and look around with a fear in his eyes. He feels his chest tighten, making him suffocating. He gasps for air. He stood up and walk towards the door silently, scared he will wake up anyone. He doesn't want anyone to see him, especially not like this.

He open the door and take a step forward before closing the door and start running towards the field. He saw a big tree and walk towards it, before sitting down and lean his back on the tree. He starts counting every time he breathe out, he chest tighten even more and it make him choke out a desperate breath. He didn't even notice his crying so hard. He pulls his knees to his chest and let out a shaky sobs.

"I'll be fine, it'll be fine, everything's fine." he said, repeating the words again and again. When he calmed down a little, but still shaking he stood up. He started to walk around silently, admiring everything's around. He suddenly feels cold, he then realized that weather will be colder because it's near November. He walk towards the room he were staying, making sure not to wake up anyone, he lays down and open his phone to look at the time.

3:27 AM

He sighs, he knew he couldn't go to sleep after that. He turn off his phone before facing the ceiling. He smiles a little, suddenly remembering his childhood's memory. He was so happy with his life, he laughed, he smiled cheerfully, he talked happily, then suddenly it turns to a nightmare. A nightmare that you try to escape but never can. How can it becomes like this?  How can someone who always care for everyone become like this? How can someone so sweet become like this?

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They all having a practice match and of course, some winning some losing. Kageyama looks delighted despite what happens the night before. He's having fun, not listening to the voices in his head that giving him a lot of critiques. He tried to play it off with a scary smile even though he is actually full of joy.

Although, someone's looking at him with a concern look. And that's someone is Tsukishima Kei. He's been keeping eyes on the boy, studying his movement like how sometimes he would play with his finger every time he's nervous, yeah surely the boy would look all calm and steady but if you look into it more you will see how he spacing out, tapping his foot silently.

Why he looks so worried thought? Well he was awake when Kageyama came back to the room they were staying. Tsukishima, of course act like he was sleeping, but he was actually looked at him, watched him smiling at the ceiling, admiring his face.

He slap his face for remembering what happened. He actually, blushing, it's not that noticeable but if you always have been there with him, you would notice it. Like how Yamaguchi noticed this, he just shrugged it off though, not having the courage to tease his best friend for now, yes for 'now'.

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Tsukishima's POV

"Tsukki!" Yamaguchi said, running towards me with a smile on his face. But the pure smile suddenly turn into an evil smirk.

"What are you smirking for?" I said, as I take one or two step back.

"Oh, it just. Maybe I saw you blushing when we were on breaks?" He said smirking even more. Man, he looks so scary when he's like this.

"I was not blushing? What are you on about?" I take more step back.

"Oh really? Then why you slap your face and you look like you come into a 'realization' ?"

I laugh nervously before turning back and hurriedly run.

"TSUKKI! I KNEW IT! WHO IS IT? TELL ME!" he said, chasing after me. When he got close to me he tackle me to the ground before we both starts laughing like crazy. Then, I feel like someone's watching us, well not 'someone', five people watching us with a shocked face. I stopped laughing and when Yamaguchi realised I stopped, he stops to before looking at what I was looking at.

There were Akaashi-san, Bokuto , Kuroo, Lev and the shrimp. They smile, happy that I'm having fun. Although I saw the looks the shrimp giving us, he, for a split seconds look like he was about to throw hands? Was he,, jealous...?

I smirk at what ideas my brain giving me.

I feel someone tape my shoulder so I look at the sudden touch.

"You still didn't told me who's your crush?" he whispered, making sure no one hear us.

"I'm not sure if I have a crush or not, I just come to the realization I was staring at them a lot. When I figure out this feelings I will tell you, okay?" I whispered back, yeah it's true, I'm still not sure about my feelings. Yeah, I don't give a fuck about my sexuality and gender as long I'm okay with it, hell sometimes I even want people to call me they/them instead he/him. But I never actually been in a relationship with anyone, okay well I did a while ago,,, it was too platonic thought... ANYWAYS BACK TO THE TOPIC, DO I REALLY HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE'S WHO BASICALLY I INSULT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY?! How, why, what am I gonna do if I actually have a crush on Kag-

"Yeah, takes many times you want! I just wanted to support you." he said giving me a assuring smile.

"Thanks."

"We are bestfriend, aren't we?"

"Well, yeah."

"That's what someone who care about you would do! So don't need to say 'thank you', you just need to act like you meant what you do as a 'thank you'!"

"Thank you though, I really meant it."

"You are welcome."

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ITS 12 AM AND TOMMOROW I HAVE CLASS AT 8AM. I DIDN'T DO MY HOMEWORK AT ALL, INSTEAD I READ FANFICS AND WATCH BNHA😭 SEND HELP ASAP!
- Yashiri