pretend || tsukikage

Chapter 10

Kageyama jolted awake, gasping for air, looking around terrified. Tears running down his cheeks. His hands in his hair, grabbing it, as if to rip it apart. He looks down, with a fear in his eyes.

Someone touch his shoulder, he jumped at the sudden contact. He crawl into a ball, looking around, still crying without any noises. When he saw who is it, he sigh in relief but then he started to panic. In front of him, there sat, Tsukishima.

'How long has he been awake? Is he mad? Is he gonna tell anyone? What if he tell everyone? I wake him up, he is gonna be so mad. I can't let him see me like this-'

"Hey, are you okay?"

Kageyama look up, with a full shocked expression. He still in silence.

"Is it, uhm... nevermind." Tsukishima said, looking down.

"Huh? What do you want to ask?" Kageyama said, slowly, his voice is really raspy and hoarse,  which lead him to having a scratchy throat.

"Can, I, um...hug you? It's usually work on calming someone. You are shaking too much." the blond said, looking up.

'Shaking?' Kageyama thought, letting his hands fall down, then look at it. 'Oh' he really is shaking too much.

"Uh, sure." he said, after a long silence. Tsukishima come closer to him, hugging him and whisper in his left ear, "It's fine if you don't want to talk about it. I just want to help you."

Kageyama smile, happy that someone care about him, but then he frown, the thoughts in his head come rushing, saying mean, hurtful things. He start shaking again, pushing Tsukishima away. He put his hands on his ears, trying to block the voices in his head.

He start to crying uncontrollably, he can't breathe, he gasped desperately for air. His chest burning.

Then Tsukishima wrap his arms around him and pulled his head to his chest.

"It's gonna be okay. Focus on breathing. Try to copy my breathing." Tsukishima said, ruffling his hair.

After a while, Kageyama back to breathing normally, although he is still shaking. He looked up, meeting Tsukishima's eyes. He looks deep into his eyes, trying to find pity in it. He sigh in relief when he can't find any sign of pity in his eyes or face.

He pulled away, embarrassed that most of all people, Tsukishima had  to see him like this.

"T-thank you." he said, looking down, blushing.

Tsukishima smile, 'cute' he thought.

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Tsukishima's POV

Wait- did, did I just think he's cute? I can't have feelings for him. I hate him. Yes, I hate him. Why did I help him then? Well maybe because he's having a panic attack, I mean most of people would help. I'm not that heartless.

"You're welcome, King." I said, he looked up with a pain in his eyes. Did I said something wrong? Is it because I call him 'king'? He hated that nickname so much? I should probably apologize.

"Oh, uh...sorry. You don't like the nickname, right? I will stop calling you that." I said, looking away.

"Really?" I looked at him, his eyes full with hope.

"Yeah...but it's probably gonna be hard since I've had always called you that." I said, he giggle. I looked up, oh god, he looks so cute.

Fuck, fuck, I really do have feelings for him. Don't embarrass yourself, Kei. Especially, not in front of someone you just find out you have feelings for them.

I sigh, feeling tired.

"I'm tired. Can you go to back sleep?" I said, furrowed my eyebrows.

"Uh, I do feel tired. It's not gonna be easy to go back to sleep." he said, looking around, clearly embarrassed by what happened.

"What about you move beside me? I will accompany you."

"But you are going to sleep?"

"Of course I am, you will too. Just cuddle with me or something so you can go to sleep easier." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Uh, okay?" he said, sitting up and move beside me. We both lay down, he take the right side on my futon. I ruffle his hair and look away.

"We really should get to to know each other. Maybe we can hang out at park or something." I said, out of nowhere.

"I agree, but when?" he said, looking up to me, yeah he is a bit shorter but that's cute.

"Monday or Thursday, after school? We don't have practice that days." I said, I start to feel that the sleepiness is getting me.

"Monday sounds good."

"Great. Goodnight, Kageyama." I said, as sleep take over me.

"Goodnight."