Getting Lucky

17. Taking Chances

(Bucky)

I sit up with a gasp, mind reeling. Memories surge, images vividly flashing by as I remember the events that had transpired. Hurting Loki.

I fucking attacked Loki.

Right when I thought that I could have a break.

'Oh my God, is he-'

"Shh, James. I'm here, you're okay."

Loki's voice breaks through the chaos in my head, his British accent gentle and concerned, a lot less sarcastic and sharp than usual. 

My head swings in his direction, and before I can control myself, I pull him into a crushing hug.

"Oh my god, Loki. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to attack you," my voice is muffled, my face buried in his soft black hair. He smells nice, almost minty, something I'd never noticed before.

Loki rubs my back, tentatively returning the embrace, "I'm okay James. you didn't hurt me. At least, not that much."

I pull away slightly, expression alarmed, causing Loki to laugh.

"I'll explain in a moment," he says as I release him from my iron grip and sit up properly.

Loki moves to sit next to me, but I avoid eye contact. Guilt gnaws at me like a starving dog, insistent and painful.

'Great job Barnes, even if he liked you before, there's no chance in HELL he'll wanna be with you now.'

"I take it you'll wanna know what happened to me?" I sigh out.

"I already know," Loki replies.

I sit up straight, eyes locking with his. "Wh-what?"

"Allow me to explain what happened," Loki holds up his wrists causing my eyes to widen.

"The cuffs..?"

Loki nods, "When you attacked me, you cracked one of the cuffs when attempting to break my wrists. Don't give me that look, James. I'm fine. Anyways, it gave me enough power to put you in a coma, then I snuck into Thor's room and got him to remove the cuffs in his sleep.

"After that, I teleported here, healed both myself and you, then I..." Loki trails off, looking at the ground with a guilty expression.

"What did you do?" I ask him gently.

'You'll see...' Winter whispers.

Loki looks back at me, one hand reaching up to brush my cheek for a moment before dropping away again quickly as if fearing my reaction. "James, why didn't you tell anybody that the Winter Soldier is in you're head?"

My eyes widen and I let out a small gasp.

'He knows!?' I yell mentally at Winter.

'Hey, don't blame me.' he grumbles defensively.

"H-How did you..." I stutter out.

Loki gives me an apologetic glance, "I used my powers to access your mind, planning on searching your memories," he cringes slightly at my look of disbelief, "Believe me, James, I never would've done it if I didn't think that it wasn't the best option. You had been under mind control, and I didn't know if it would be safe enough to try and wake you up right then and there," his eyes search mine, asking for forgiveness.

I smile slightly, "It's okay Loki, I understand why you had to do it. All is forgiven."

He smiles back, a flash of relief appearing in his eyes for a moment before he resumes speaking.